This is true of just about any sort of indiscretion. It’s a lot like drug testing - many companies insert a line in standard contracts / employee handbooks saying that they reserve the right to drug test you but few companies (outside of ones w/ government contracts or ones run by puritanical zealots) actually insist…

Let’s be honest - you didn’t get fucked by serving your country, you got fucked by your brother and his wife being horrible people. Odds are that had you never joined the army and never left town those 2 would have still conspired to fuck you over somehow

That’s exactly the same thought / worry I had when I first saw this (I’m a ‘Hawks fan, but anyone who sees that and doesn’t worry about Chris Kelly as a person regardless of fan affiliation is a terrible person). There’s no way a femur in a healthy adult should simply snap like that, particularly without any contact…

I don’t smoke cigarettes anymore (well that’s not 100% true, every once in a blue moon I’ll bum one off a friend when I’m drunk but it’s been at least 5 years since I bought a pack) but even when I did smoke regularly I was totally OK with bars / restaurants / other public buildings banning it. Quite frankly I’d…

Strongly disagree that this rings hollow. It’s obviously not the same thing, but there’s a striking parallel between this and the fact that the former players that the NHL hires for the Department of Player Safety tend to be guys who had well-earned reputations for playing on (and often over) the edge and would have…

This guy seems like the kind of “scientist” who would say that the best cure for depression is to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and quit being such a whiny little bitch

Unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be an effective way of undoing the damage that he’s done considering the mass quantity of dumbfucks who still think there’s a link between vaccines and autism

Yes, exactly this - eating Waffle House in broad daylight is much more suspect than at 2 AM

Shouldn’t the Sunday Afternoon Movie of the Week be for Bears fans instead of Browns fans? I mean yeah, the Browns are a shitshow, but at least they’re an entertaining shitshow. The Bears are the worst team at football and just flat-out depressingly boring, especially if Smokin’ Jay Cutler isn’t there to look surly…

Sorry, that’s only legally binding if you make it your Facebook status

To be completely fair though, didn’t that ref also only get beheaded after fatally stabbing a player? Not saying that the ref (or anyone for that matter) deserved to be decapitated by any means, just that there was a whole lot more going on than aggravated players attacking a referee in that instance...

And then there’s this, in response to the accusation of evidence tampering:

Doing another rape kit would be entirely useless. The whole point of a rape kit is to collect any and all evidence (DNA evidence, photographic evidence, etc.) that is on the victim’s body to determine what evidence, if any, there is that the victim was in fact raped and if so by whom. The longer you go between the…

Clearly he’s ending his holdout now and coming back for week 3 because they’re playing the Bears. It will be a great warm-up for him as it will be about as strenuous and require about as much effort as a week 1 or 2 preseason game.

Wait, is the prospect of having to watch the Cardinals at the Bears this week just so unbelievably shitty that it’s not even worth 1 throwgasm? I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I’m exactly planning on going out of my way to watch it or any other Bears game this year, but damn that’s cold

Of course it was like playing on concrete, everybody knew that even before the game was even played. It was talked about ad nauseam on SportsCenter and other outlets in the week leading up to the game after the MetroDome roof collapse. It was an outdoor stadium in Minnesota at the end of December, and since it was a…

Yeah but when you’re paying with cash you either pay for each drink as it arrives, for which the comparable scenario in this situation would be paying the server as soon as he/she brings your food out, or your leaving something like an ID as a means of collateral for the bar tab. Either way it would be pretty much…

Jerry - you’re not quite correct, the Bears also do not have anyone left from their (abysmal) 2011 draft class. Not horribly surprising considering that was the final Bears draft class of Jerry Angelo, one of the worst talent evaluaters (non-Matt Millen division) to be a non-interim GM in NFL history

This year I’m traveling all of the way across the country for a Labor Day weekend wedding for the 2nd year in a row. My friends are monsters

The difference is that Sanchez being awful isn’t news because there’s no contingent of zealots trying to claim against all evidence to the contrary that he’s actually really good and just hasn’t gotten a fair shake.