“Wiley in particular is an interesting choice. He’s not shy about putting his subjects (and himself) on stallions...” so I’m thinking along these lines:

I’m going by r/nosleep rules, treating it like it’s true, it’s more fun that way. Like the computerized version of telling scary stories around a campfire.

Ok, here goes. Writing this out makes me want to barf. 

This is terrifying but it seems too “good” to be true. No offense intended.

YES. THIS IS MY FAVORITE POST OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe they’re dating not because they’re celebrities interested in dating another celebrity of equal celebrity status but because they are two humans who met while doing charity work and fell in love? Or I’m a sucker.

Took my wife’s grandfather to breakfast one cool morning in our Mazda3s GT. Had the seat warmers on ahead of time before I picked him up because the cold really bothered him.

A couple blocks after picking him up, he kinda moves around, puts his hand on the seat under his leg and goes, “OH! It’s heated!? I thought…

Miley, listen to Auntie Dolly, do an album of lo-fi classic country covers. There is nothing your target audience loves more than slow gritty covers of Jolene.

I know I reported several image “memes” that were clearly designed to spread bigotry and xenophobia back around election time and they were all deemed “OK” by FaceBook. Very frustrating.

Seems a little dismissive of young women to be honest (“wetted the panties of millions across the country,” “reminded, yet again, not to underestimate them. They enjoy a meticulous World War II drama as much as anyone,” etc.). Do we want to claim that young women wouldn’t touch historical dramas unless they had…

Honestly fuck whoever took a creepshot of them in a restaurant. Katie Holmes has been through enough for one fucking lifetime, let the woman enjoy a normal fucking relationship.

Also TOTALLY off topic but can we please have a post that discusses the S Town podcast because I need that in my life.

Rumor has it the cheerleaders were also part of a pyramid scheme.

You are correct. Referring to your spouse as “mom” or “dad” in a family conversation is perfectly normal. As in “Mom is going to live somewhere else because dad had dinner with his female coworker last night.”

You don’t have to be Sigmund Freud to see how’s Trump’s behaviors towards Russia contradict everything about him and totally points to something suspicious.

Another woke little dude. Saw this on twitter.

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas...

Even if we did we wouldn’t call them kilometers. It’d be “freedom miles” or something equally stupid. Instead of kilograms, patriot pounds. In fact I’m going to tweet this so I can be sure our soon-to-be president will see it.

fave joke thus far:

Yeah. I’m a Canadian who was born with a major heart defect and I am doing a Ph.D. at a very good university, and I thank the universe every night that I’m Canadian. If I were American, I would not be able to pay for either my life or my education.