Doug! A 50 Shades post and no mention of my epic petition to get Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton in this movie? ALMOST 150 signatures!!! WE ARE SO CLOSE!!!

If I had that tub, that is how I would react as well.

I love this. I love when the freaks tell you up front who they are so you can avoid.

What's an N count? I need to know if I'm worthy of this liquid gold or not.

It's still funny that they don't know they've been fired.

You don't need a white asshole. You ARE a white asshole.

Is Ashanti still a thing?

Everyone stand back. A MAN HAS SPOKEN.

That baby is cute, but is it just the photo quality, or is she wearing foundation? Seriously, I think someone put makeup on that baby.

The expression on her face plus the little hand reaching out makes me feel like she's desperately begging us to save her.

Screw *Nsync! BSB 4EVER!

Nothing embodies "Closeted in the 90s" more than a Nehru jacket.

what exactly would have made it impressive?

The problem with your system, of course, is that not everyone - possibly even your own kids! - is equipped or willing to get a STEM degree. Nothing sounded more awful to me going through college to get a degree JUST because I could make money from a career I wouldn't enjoy.

I really have trouble finding anything funny about this; it sounds just horrifying. Imagine being 23 years old, so desperately ashamed of your sexual desires that you believe you will never be able to have a sexual or romantic relationship with anyone. Ever. That you will spend the rest of your life masturbating…

Funny things aside,

There's a hell of a lot more about "the Clytoris" and its value here than generations of Americans got in school or anywhere else.

I'm all about the average (or even slightly below average) sized dicks. I'm a petite lady, and I don't like a big dick. Plus it's been my experience that guys who are a little smaller/slightly insecure about their dick size learn how to work with what they have SO MUCH BETTER. The worst sex I've ever had has been with…

TASTICLES!

Testes