pattylove
pattylove
pattylove
Jun 20 2014
59

Thanks for the wisdom after being married for AN ENTIRE MONTH and not actually having a real job, Kim.

Jun 20 2014
24

Because that's how you spell it. It means "power" and was a popular rallying cry during the fight against apartheid. Sometimes people give their children names that aren't white and Western. I know it can be hard to deal with, but together we can make it through.

Apr 15 2014
103

Since Jen Selter became "famous" I've seen a TON of white girls at the gym doing squats, dead lifts, and lunges to get a "Jen Selter booty" and it irks me like no other because I can't imagine how she's managed to get a butt that big naturally without thighs that are big too.

Mar 18 2014
87

Jack Daniels over Absinthe? JACK DANIELS OVER ABSINTHE? I mean, to be fair, I doubt everyone has had the magical absinthe moments that I have been lucky enough to experience. One time I got wasted on it at a Peter Pan themed college ball where I was DRESSED AS TINKERBELL, i.e. an actual green fairy, and spent a good Read more

Mar 12 2014
24

I hate the word pussy - not in a cringy way, but if my partner says the word pussy when we are getting sexy, it's a hue turnoff because I feel like I am being taken out of our intimate situation and put in a standard nonsense porn.

Mar 11 2014
145

Callie, I'm really disappointed that L.C. didn't actually shave her head. Like super disappointed. I might have to leave work early.

Mar 10 2014
254

Ahh, yes. My ex-boyfriend was thin and looked great in clothes. But naked, he sort of resembled a droopy stick figure. His butt was bizarrely flat without any muscle or fat in it, so touching it was like grabbing at pudding. When he ate a large meal, it gave him a potbelly until it was properly digested so you could Read more

Mar 10 2014
66

I have never liked either the word "skinny" or the word "fat". I have both skin and fat. Everyone does! I am going to ignore the meaning of the word and call myself "skinny fat"; because I have skin and I have fat and so far, so good. Both are doing their job, keeping my skeleton wrapped up all safe.

Mar 9 2014
75

He's a good boyfriend, too. I just called him and asked if he would come over and fix the wobbly side view mirror on my car. He said he could do it but not until later tonight. Then I said well if you're going to come over later tonight instead of now, maybe you could bring dinner. He said he was planning on eating Read more

Mar 9 2014
27

I just realized that my husband is handsome in the exact same weird way that Benedict Cumberbatch is handsome aaaaaand my pants fell off. G2G.

Mar 9 2014
7

I'm the loneliest popular girl ever. BFFs Jennifer Lawrence and Lupita N'yongo forgot my birthday, and my boyfriend Cumberbatch didn't even send flowers for valentines day.