Hey Russ: Fucking learn to be better at it you pusillanimous shitstain. Your wife wasn’t born knowing how to run a household. She fucking learned. Study and learn and get the fuck better.

I don’t think they’ll officially end the press briefings, I think they’ll just rebrand them;

I am here for this nuanced breakdown of Nazi Germany political history.

It’s a moot point, because you can’t go back in time and kill baby Hitler.

That’s what a predestination paradox is.  You can’t go back in time to prevent an event from happening because then you won’t have any reason to go back in time in the first place, thus you won’t be there to prevent it.

Chuck Johnson is concerned that the unidentified floor poops might be traced back to him.

Oh my gawd, the Women for Cohen thing just kills me. Ahahahahahahahahaha. Oh man.

I’m pretty certain that if there was a major catastrophe in, say, San Francisco, or Seattle, those being left leaning bastions, that Trump would definitely try to withhold funds there as well.

This story brightened my day. It’s so pathetically absurd....wheeeee!

described Mr. Cohen as a “sex symbol,” praised his looks and character

Pelosi didn’t ask for anything.

Also, what they’re actually teaching here is that women have sexual power over men, and they should wield it by embracing modesty.

“Stop playing political games and end the Shutdown!”

You know, I’m starting to think this Brexit thing was a bad idea...

hamberders.

I think it’s a good thing. Democracy is about representation, and if there’s one demographic that’s horribly underrepresented in Congressional committees relative to the overall size of their population, it’s cruel white women.

We all may be having a bad year.

Donald Trump does NOT know the word “intransigence” 

Please, someone end this.

So are these technically “Dirty Sanchez” texts?