Wait a sec, how does one delete a Tweet as a president when every tweet is legally bound as the official word of a president?

“Hey boss... What’s this burning sensation?”

I remember CNN running a rags to riches story on him in October 2016.

Then they debated whether Hillary’s e-mails were valid.

CNN did this. The same CNN he defamed for his first few months.

I said it elsewhere - what the Dems should do is put Kamala, Maxine and AOC in a darkened room with a live feed of the speech, à la MST3K!

Wow, who knew doing the reading could lead to good decisions 

Is this going to be like that episode of The Office where Dwight Schrute adapts a speech from Hitler for a regional salesman award acceptance speech?

Don’t watch the poison man. Read a book, go to a movie, take a walk, look at the stars, touch a tree, make love. Do absolutely anything else.

Agreed. Periods are metal AF.

he is a sentient micro penis

Calling Donald a snake is an insult to snakes. He’s an overgrown prion.

I got a text from my boss today telling me not to expect my next paycheck, that’s fun.

How do you impeach a president who has won perhaps the greatest election of all time

“The first President to take China on...”

Rofl this is amazing. So now I have to know. I HAVE to know. Where is the poop going?! Can they poof things completely out of existence?! Cuz, Jesus, that'd be infinitely better than murder. If they have the power to completely disentigrate whatever, there'd be no evidence of anything. Unless there was some magical…

Chamber Pot of Secrets

I’m less bothered by the mechanics and more bothered by the... output.

Fun fact: courtiers at the Palace of Versailles did exactly the same thing, except the “vanishing” was done once a year by servants.

Right? And wouldn’t “Fecal Deletus” or “Urine Exumai” then have to be like, the FIRST spell they learn?

this is crap trivia, james.