Thank you! Everything is horrible, but my take away from this is she was touched by HIM. The fucking horrible monster touched my dearly beloved Megan (albeit in Karen character), and recoiled (and he kissed her TWICE).

Here’s hoping Schumer hasn’t already returned the spine he borrowed last week.

“Spiced” mayonnaise has a name: aioli.

I hate this cause I know exactly why this clickbait article was written and I’m falling for it but I don’t care.

Kombucha is just yeast soda

Tell them you’ll only take down the post if Shelley herself shows up in person and asks you to do so.  YOU ANSWER TO NO MAN.

THOSE BOOTS!!!  Have I died and gone to heaven?  

And, even with video evidence, his former co-stars are Kavanaughing all over Twitter talking about what a great guy he is and how awesome he is to work with.

If anyone else is late to the party like me, GET MICHELLE’S BOOK ON AUDIOBOOK

That sequin blazer Michelle is wearing is amazing and I want it.

Gingerbread men/women/people are pretty much all gender neutral unless you’re making some anatomically correct cookies

A wheelbarrow.

When I want to be insulting, I give an Applebee’s gift card. 

Oh, so apparently Mick Mulvaney, the one time budget director, is now going to be Trump’s new Chief of Staff. Apparently our Toddler In Chief likes it when he gets to play musical chairs!

He loves being around seamen. 

The cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the point the cruelty is the…

Which hunt?

“I’m not kidding, this is true,” Casler added. “I had a 24-page NDA, non-disclosure agreement. I didn’t know he was becoming president. Now it’s like ‘No way, dumbass,’ I’m telling you everything I know, but only after he’s won the election and had two years to fuck up as much as possible.”

Yet another person with the goods on Trump who could have shared them with the world 3+ years ago, but nah.