Jeff Sessions is an evil man.

OH MY FUCKING GOD

I am four eels!

Has any other American president so blatantly said that “Hey, I want to be a dictator”?

Ohhhh Hillary...that was good.

especially if they were both wearing tan suits.

Please imagine the frenzy were Obama to have saluted a North Korean general.

And yet...

Karem: It’s not about that! It’s about you answering the question, Sarah. Honestly, answer the question. It’s a serious question. These people have nothing, they come to the border with nothing, and you throw children in cages. You’re a parent! You’re a parent of young children. Don’t you have any empathy for what…

“I would cite you to the Apostle Paul and his clear and wise command in Romans 13, to obey the laws of the government because God has ordained them for the purpose of order.”
So can I interpret that as what Trump wants is what god wants?! Sessions is citing the divine right of kings.

The Dufranes are locked in someone’s trunk. And they’re hungry!

(In short: Comey kinda fucked up, and ended up fatally wounding the Clinton campaign. Bummer.)

Yeah, but what happened to the Dufranes?

Hey, I’m sure New York City will have a parade we can all attend and sing Twist and Shout!

I’m going full Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on that day.

This is correct and why this is a really big fucking deal.

Famous last words: “I won’t settle this case!” (see: Trump University).

Explanation #3: It’s because he’s still madly in love with Jen, of course. Who is pregnant with his baby.