It would end like every self conversation you have about chocolate. Ok, but just one more and than I'll be good. But what's one more and I'll have a 4th to keep things even.

This company really knows what kids like. I'm sure they also love to color, Tea Party and Tea Party 2: Why America Loves You. So many good choices.

You can drink your double d's down to a b cup.

If birth control pills were chocolate I wouldn't have forgotten to take it.

This would be the perfect holiday gift for the person who hates family dinners. Perfect for all your most annoying occasions.

I thought this was a parody or something funny but it's for real. But the reviews are fun and I'm pretty sure this is my favorite.

Ok, I'm going to need a mental image on how this works. It sounds like pure genius but what are the chances of leaking? I'd hate to be at the ticket counter squirting out my merlot.

That sounds better. I think the word, "Chardonnay" front and center might give you away.

Me too. I know Madonna has become faux British (you're from Detroit, DETROIT) but I've always admired her gap tooth pride. My dentist has asked me a few times if I've changed my mind on closing mine. It might get less popcorn stuck in there though?

I feel like I've learned a lot today about smuggling liquor into movies. I've only ever gotten too awesome in public when drinking tequila (kicked out of a Denny's, I'm not proud) so I should be an acceptable amount awesome with vodka.

I can't believe it's really a thing.

I also really like San Antonio. The kids love The River Walk.

I felt so bad for her because my left thumb is like that and would get so embarrassed at some of the thumb jokes. Not even clever ones, just bad. I still hide my left hand when I take pictures.

Maybe I should email them and offer my services? Add some string and now it's a man thong. I would enjoy a friendly smiling Sherlock coming at me instead of a plain ole erect penis. I'm also thinking they should add some Downton Abby Dildo Cozy's or better yet, a Luther Dildo Cozy.

You would think one person in that group would have seen at least one Morgan Freeman movie and think, "Hey, that kind of looks like that movie guy".

I could never be God because I'd use my powers for evil which is why Morgan is a better choice. Could not one person Google, Nelson Mandela.

Thanks, even though I just noticed I forgot the r in t-shirt but I kind of like the way it is.

We live near Dallas. Houston is like our classy older sister and we're the embarrassing loud little sister who wears too much make up. I like visiting Houston but it does seem a bit more expensive than here.

Yes. Part of me thinks I should hate this movie but I want to figure out how to make a wine purse that also can hide my illegal candy so I can go see this.

Oh, I know. I grew up around there and moved to Texas which coming from that area was like moving to another planet. DC, where you get your coffee with a side of, now shut the fuck up and leave.