Disney let a dying fan see an unedited version of The Force Awakens. I’m sure he and his family signed a mountain of paperwork saying they would talk about the movie with anyone, but what’s really stopping that fan from spoiling the plot? What if he was disappointed—would a lawsuit really stop him from telling…

We touched dick tips and sang happy birthday to one another in the center of a circle of beeswax candles from sundown to sun up. So we’re good now.

This is as important a story as Deadspin has ever done. My contempt for Hardy, Jones and Goodell is matched only by my admiration for Diana’s epic reporting.

This is beyond horrifying.

[Gerald Green’s house]

This sounds like a really fun trolling tactic, and I would have loved to take part in it myself if Cam Newton hadn’t stolen my laptop.

Shooters seem to be the only demographic in this country that are active. Good for them, staying active is a large part of living a healthy lifestyle.

One of the toughest players in Finland was Koppi who played one game with a hurt shoulder because of his large antenna. He scored a numbers of goals and won the MVP. I remember this game well and he became a hero that is celebrated in the hall of fames. Great player and even greater star after his retirement. A lot of…

“he’s only halfway there!”

Mularkey will be ably assisted by offensive coordinator Jim Bunkum and defensive coordinator Fred Hogwash.

This sucks, so, so much.

For when the One Sports Network comes

Was he followed by 12 co-workers?

“Wished death upon Bears employees’ children”

Look, I try not to pass judgments on cops, who have a difficult job and sometimes get shafted trying to perform it. But a lack of professionalism is a lack of professionalism, and I’d really like to know why this one particular officer felt the need to curse so much in the police report.

WV fan #1: Man, that’s just like kissing your sister.

Maybe the burning is capsaicin rather than chlamydia.

This is kind of like the opposite of the Cowboys this week, where the GM had to keep Greg Hardy from cutting a coach.

That cosplay might fool those fucks in the league office, but they don’t fool Jesus.

Before anyone gets any ideas this has absolutely nothing to do with “Operation Hulk Cat”......nothing.