Schiff: [watching conclusion of NLDS] Well, shit. I guess that settles it.

Hannah deleted the tweets because she believes the relationship is capable of being saved, primarily because Klay is quite amenable to molding.

And just like Tits McGee, this dumb fuck is on vacation.

“Paul! What happened to your house??!”

Yea, but this was just ghostwritten by Craggs and Marchman, with help from Ta-Nehisi Coates’ secret email list.

Great job Greg. +1

#daddyshome

My perception is that no team can take a minor story that could easily be swept under the rug and blow it up into back-page material quite like the Mets.

I personally blame all of the extra pitchers the Yankees have had in the clubhouse during the month of September.

I have a feeling they are going to spend a good chunk of the regular season stunting on people like this.

beee-dooo-beep! I’m sorry, the number you are dialing has been disconnected in the detroit area. please hang up and try again.... ☎️ 🏈 🔚

You’re so right the people that are paid to know the rulebook should get a pass imo

You do, however, get your choice of barbecue sauces: smoky, spicy, or sweet.

Enjoy your practice squad cars and your practice squad beds and your practice squad apartments. After I’m done doing throws here I’m going to step inside the mouth of a whale and the whale will take me to my luxury condo out near the edge of the continental shelf where mermaids will be my bed. Do you get it? I am…

He should have spent more time on the elliptical.

I understand that professional athletes often go above and beyond to connect with their home cities, but, in Rose’s case, a shot to the face seems like just a bit too much.

(Lee Jury and Lee Executioner were not cited in the column.)

Jon Gruden: See, this guy right here. He’s a guy I like to call “Brokey McFuckstick”, because I make around 40% more annually than-

Listen, you asshole. Chocolate goes first, vanilla second and then you throw the fucking carton away.