"I went to a leper colony one time, but those little bastards had no gold and definitely no rainbows."

I'd argue that Hollywood Squares is the most dependent on X's and O's.

A few minutes later, John From Cincinnati called, but no one could tell what the fuck he was talking about, so everyone changed the station.

This guy needs to get with the times. Getting stabbed by the bunkers is so 1942.

Dyslexics are surprised the family owns anything at all.

"...can you believe this guy? I mean seriously, what a lazy, lethargic asshole..."

To be fair, it was only served during their Pol Potluck night.

If he had any sense, he would point his gun at the real threat: diabetes.

Kelly: BELLY-FLOP CONTEST!! LET ME SEE YOUR BEST OFFENSIVE LINE!

Andy Reid did that all the time. In fact, he used to do three shows a day, until that stupid Blackfish documentary made everyone all uppity about it.

Guy: [Pushes] Unngh. UNNGH. It's no use.
Sister: Just push it up a little. It has to go up.
Guy: I tried that. [Pushes up] See? Nothing.
Sister: Did you try jiggling it and pushing up?
Guy: What's that supposed to do? No, it's not going to go that way.
Sister: [Stares; turns head 45 degrees left; stares again]
Guy: [Pushes…

"So we figured, hey, let's draw attention to racial inequalities in America by walking hand-in-hand out from this inflatable thing with a purple injun on it."

He'll probably strikeout when he tries to talk to Mo'Ne Davis, unfortunately.

He really does it to fend off the slurs hurled at him by his rival, Trey Urugay.

McCoy walks to the cake, which is topped by a football.

Sarafin: Guys, I need to tell you about something that's been weighing down on me for a while now.

"Excuse me... and how old is this one?"

It wasn't Carmelo. He wouldn't even pass gas.

"He reminds me of me," Sidney Crosby said.