Every month we have “lunch and learn” at work. Lunch isn’t served, you’re just supposed to spend your planning period at a useless training..

Just think how much cheaper getting drunk is though — buy a few doughnuts and you’ll be drunk as a skunk

Umm Krantz does realise it was his actions that make him look like a villain, not the show, yes?

Boyfriend and I saw the video on WGN last night. Boyfriend: “I’d fuck him. If I looked like that I’d never wear a shirt either”

Also for many of these girls they get 9 months of slutshaming while daddy gets to walk around scot-free. It’s not just that I don’t want a baby, I don’t even want to be pregnant right now thanks

Ugh it’s *NOT* Hans Olo. It’s Sulu. That’s why they always call him Mr Sulu. Duh...

My boyfriend got the full day marathon ticket before we met. You guys hang out and your girlfriend and I can snuggle up at home. You might not get her back because she is adorable

I mean other cities have major problems but we are Chiraq

I work two blocks from the quad and all my kids are here today. Scary to think my grad school alma mater is dealing with this, but I also went to FSU so school shootings apparently follow me three years later

I said the same thing when I started teaching, but 150 kids + laptop = still using my college back pack

Kelly was sweet but her clothes, especially at fashion week, were fucking hideous

“And yet in all those zombie movies, nobody’s ever trying to get to Utah”

“I couldn’t find a no-kill shelter so I killed them” is a terrible defense. Take them to a shelter where they would still probably been adopted out and if not humanely euthanized...

My ex was a lot more needy in the physical contact department, but we found a good compromise (my legs in his lap when on the couch...he gets the contact he needs while I get the freedom). It was definitely awkward navigating at first but that’s part of any new relationship. You’re married now dude and you knew going…

Yeah I remember opening the original article prepared to scoff and being like...oh no she definitely has a point. Honestly they HAVE TO HAVE BEEN using her as a model for this. Harris is not a common women’s name. I feel like the original hamster had a different name with notes “Make it look as much like HF as an…

I feel that way about most ally situations. Everyone likes to shit on Macklemore for Same Love and while yeah, I obviously wish people hadn’t needed a straight white guy to say something, why are we pretending he did something wrong by speaking up? I’m not arguing people need to like Macklemore but he definitely…

I bought this movie from a cheap vendor at FSU, then my dad died so I have never watched it..

My ex is still my best friend, but even though he ended it I think he’s the one still pining. I love him but we are not meant to be together

Okay maybe I’m just a heartless bitch (I am) but I don’t feel badly for people who use black market plastic surgery and then are surprised it’s terrible..

What’s the point of a Diva Cup if I have to keep an antenna in my vagina? Like seriously I don’t understand how this is a thing