So I know this is off topic but I honestly don’t know where else to go: I got my first ever massage today and it unexpectedly became a happy ending massage (I’m a lady, the masseuse was a man. Not sure if that matters). I don’t feel abused etc or regret anything, and I definitely feel like I could have stopped it at…

I actually loved when my ex would play GTA (or other games) because I could get grading done but still hang out together. I’m kind of a big deal though

This is actually a really fascinating question if you’re at all interested in evolution or sociobiology.Men can reproduce until they die so that’s probably why these researchers focused solely on females

Octopi don’t swim around much. They live in small areas and generally grab prey that get too close. I mean he might still be depressed, but he probably just wanted a dark crevasse in which to hide

If we turn all Trump rallies into parking lots what can we get? Probably much better than keeping our shoes on at the airport

As a teacher, I’d probably be fired for beating the everloving shit out of the rapists. Sorry not sorry

I’d seriously hurt them and I’m not afraid. Don’t touch my (imaginary) children if you can’t handle the very real consequences

It’s 4 90-minute episodes. Gilmore Guys have been talking about it for some time

So by that logic when I warn people that I’m a bitch, I’m proving I’m not... Win!

One of my kids before winter break (a really sweet girl) was like, “I’m so excited to Netflix and chill every day!”

The boyfriend was vaguely interested because he’s never done it. I told him “I think it’s pretty terrible but I’m happy to do it with you.” He gets into what he thinks is the right position, I tell him what actually needs to happen.. him: “Oh. No. No let’s not”

My friend is allergic to dairy. I assume this baby is as well based on the initial rash reaction

I know at -30* school is cancelled because you can freeze to death waiting for the bus, which typically comes at least once every 10-15 minutes

My friend did one so she and her husband could get him a truck because he was “too tall” for cars. At the time I was dating a 6'9" guy and I commented that he fit just fine in my civic. I would love to have strangers pay off my student and medical debt but welcome to adulthood, that’s not how it works

Plus, he probably just tripped and happened to ejaculate on her face. It could happen to anyone.

Ours are run by other teachers. How about you just tell me that if I don’t understand how multiple choice works I should talk to Smith and call it a day?

True. Also I work for an underfunded CPS school so I get why they can’t afford monthly lunches, but seriously roll three or four of those into a single PD day because I have *real* work today, thanks

My mom works at a VA hospital in Virginia and they tore down the office she and three other support staff share. Now their desks are in the hallway. The hallway is supposed to stay locked before and after regular hours as well as during lunch, but assholes from other departments cut through and let patients in, then…

I’m also a teacher. This month some kids came to my other planning period so I said fuck no to the “lunch” and learn. I’m not allowed to fail kids who don’t work, I’m not allowed to turn kids away if I’m trying to have my lunch, so sorry not sorry I’m going to get real work done instead of listening to the leadership…

At least you get lunch!