Sources close to the White House legal operation complained that even if they did want to rush through a new nominee, they couldn’t be sure any male nominee wouldn’t have what one called a “Kavanaugh problem.”

The greatest trick Tomatoface ever pulled is convincing people he is hiding behind every burner account long after the plug was pulled on Gawker. 

If there was any justice in the world, Ivanka would have been eating shit for the last 584 days

Ok.

Party PPL buys all the dispensaries and bars, and Parties X and Y can’t find a good time anywhere!

Besides your excellent comments about respecting the culture you’re visiting, I think this is a gem, and I might be tempted to steal it for future use:

Somehow the Dump family attempting to take a serious picture looks more ridiculous than all of the Bluths trying to imitate a chicken.  

“Ooh also, another hugely surprising thing that no one could have predicted—you can probably go ahead and forget all those things Trump said about wanting gun control.”

I live for the chance to show the infamous “Glenn Danzig carries cat litter to his car” .jpg

This is probably the least-wrong thing he’s said this entire year.

mainstream whosa whats now?

They shoot child molesting Republicans, don’t they?

All these old Republicans think they’re goddamn John Wayne.

I could honestly understand some food restrictions. Not everyone’s up for sashimi. Not everyone can eat with chopsticks without making a fool of themselves. But there had to be something other than American beef he could have eaten. I mean, there is this thing called wagyu, for starters.

 Well, it’s something they used to say openly in the 30's, so it’s back in play in 2017. That’s where we’re at.

Wow, one of them actually gave away the gameplan! I’ve been saying for 20+ years, all they want is more people, in more desperate situations, who are willing to do more work for less compensation.

Republican 1: There are no jobs! Immigrants and Libruls and the Illuminati stole them all! Think of all the poor, uneducated white people that could be filling those roles as doctors or scholars!

These fucking swine. Now I have to find and put on NOFXs “Kill All The White Men”... again. Fuckety fuck these scum