1. bayless: A gaseous expulsion from one's anus. Usually of the particularly fragrant variety.

Dude: [goes to ATM]

Up late creating Social Security by myself. I am such a lame.

It's a shame the prank punch wasn't utilized in Jonestown.

The Giants say they have no record of the incident.

Who's next to join the Kiss My Ass club?

Spurrier: [walks into any place of business in South Carolina]

Besides, if you were to compare a college football player to Rosa Parks, the obvious pick would be Eric LeGrand. That dude gets to sit wherever the hell he wants.

...the Cubs finally succumbed to pressure from MLB, which threatened that if the team ever won a pennant they'd have to host their World Series games at an alternate location.

It was nice of Deadspin to allow the guy who made Kevin Durant's back tattoo write this headline.

this follows more than a dozen raids on his fridge in the past month.

[files sexual harassment suit against Timothy Burke]

Canton has already made a bust for him.

If I remember correctly - and I think I do - "peppa puddin" is Bill Cosby's name for a post-analingus sneeze when a little bit of poop comes out of your nose.

In Muhammad's defense, he claims that he and the girl were merely discussing the Hawks and the Hornets.

""I went out and seeked help," Cooper said."

It's great to see athletes rally around a cause like this.

This only really applies to TRONBALL. (RMJ=H has punctuation.)

[sends JJJJJDDDD back in time]

Be warned, this story is very British.