pardon_my_jorts 2 years ago:

Yeah bro you to totally said it

Note to self: Avoid certain death by not going to sporting events.

Devil in the White City, about the 1893 World's Columbian Exposition. Really an awesome book, and I don't read a lot of non-fiction

What would you least like to zipline into? I'm thinking a seven foot tall hornet nest or Brittney Griner's postgame buttcrack.

This was just fucking hilarious. I actually had a Coach Mac really named Coach Mac in high school, and although he didn't swear or pull his ballsack out, he would pump "Hell's Bell's" non-stop, tell us our legs were going to sue our bodies for non-support, call us Casper Milktoast (?) and Harry Highschool when we were…

Pulled the same routine at my last job interview. I was offered the position but I didn't even take it.

Those spotters have no excuse. I mean even a worn out Jack Sock could have softened the blow better.

Sox needed a shop-vac to clean up this mess. Ba. Zing.

Servicing old-fashioned, leathery balls is what got Goodell to where he is today. He won't abandon them now.

I don't know if you've ever watched a John Fox / Jeff Davidson-led offense, but Chud is a fucking genius compared to that. There's no comparison to watching games last year versus the previous years where we basically just took 3 knees and punted every possession.

The Panthers probably won't suck this year, they will most likely be just O.K. Which sucks. The main problem with the Panthers is Richardson, who is content with absolutely no one knowing a pro football franchise exists in Charlotte. He takes ZERO risks, ever. Plus he looks like an elderly baby head crudely attached…

The mondo cool thing to do when I was a kid was to fill up clearly canadian bottles with mustard then chuck them on the pavement. The bottle would appear to be filled with dark blue substance, but when smashed open it revealed a shocking yellow that caused our 6th grade brains to stroke out.

It feels like you're repeatedly falling off of a cliff. Not enjoyable.

Favorite hot sauces? I am a fan of Crystal

Are those types of flip-flops cool now? Also, if you notice the sandals in the bottom right, you can tell this picture was taken right after Anthony Davis spontaneously combusted while learning how to fold a pocket square.

" Marte has tremendous tools and has moved aggressively through Pittsburgh's system despite a real lack of polish at the plate that makes him a very high-beta prospect. ... The Pirates might have a successor to Drew McCutchen, or just a maddening bench guy who looks like he should be a star."

awesome

Everything I know about the X Games I learned from Sports Illustrated for Kids.

The NBA Draft is attended by exactly the same people I would expect to attend the NBA Draft.