If they named one post-2000 I’d be inordinately surprised, when Last Exit to Springfield, Homer v. Lisa and the Eighth Commandment (and its cousin, Lisa the Greek), Marge vs. the Monorail, and Homer the Vigilante are all safely ensconced in the 90s.

“You’re gonna die now!”

The irony is that Homer couldn’t possibly have done worse as Cowboys owner than Jerry Jones in the time period Scorpio could have bequeathed to him the team (to the present).

The amazing thing is that he started out with five signed balls and two signed bats and before you knew it he had fed the collectors’ market with thousands of pieces of memorabilia.

I turned off my computer and threw it right the fuck out the window.

Not the first Fox to engage in obfuscation and cranky doublespeak

Come on, like rockets have 60 million seat capacities. Just 100-200 select cable talk show participants.

Don’t forget

Between 50-60 million people will vote for Trump in his losing effort in about 4 weeks. All such people are objectively hopeless and individually terrible, and their apologists and spokespersons should all be given tickets for the maiden Rocket to the Sun voyage.

One could have the best/fittest body in the world but hitting one’s lower back with a sledgehammer for 30 minutes every day (the equivalent of Tiger’s fucked-up swing) is going to impact one’s sports performance

(Ezekiel Elliott scores on 8-yard TD scamper, hands the ball to the ref)

That’s why teams like the Texans serve as a good reminder that there objectively terrible 3-2 teams (and that there’s at least an overclass of teams like the Vikings/Patriots)

(gen-X scoff) More like River-Goat Gone

I’m sorry, my whole point is that there’s no such thing as moderate Republicans outside of a handful of New Englanders. Most self-labeled moderate GOPers are in fact terrible reactionaries who shouldn’t be let anywhere near public policy. Your best bet is the current system, but with musty DLCers like Hillary having…

(gen-X scoff) More like the Scoreless Knights.

Damn, I thought we were finally getting the gritty cinematic adaptation of the video game property Bad Dudes

I think at minimum 50 million people are going to vote Trump in November. They all have their individual reasons for doing so but what’s important to remember is that they’re all hopeless, each and every last goddamned one of them.

If the ideal basketball team is like quality jazz, then the Kings are Jazz Odyssey.

“In all fairness the shower got really foggy”

Duff beer for me