RAYMOND FELTON ISN’T WADDLING THROUGH THAT DOOR

Time to take this to the next level

Are we assuming that killing a puppy in the third debate would cause him to go below 38%? Let’s face it, the press only has the ability to manufacture and then de-manufacture a horse race for fun and profit; the fact they could do it with possibly the worst candidate (if not human being) in existence is equal parts…

Corollary: please remember that these GOPers are all independently giant pieces of shit apart from their relationship with Trump.

Counterpoint: he’s been a GOP functionary all his adult life (for most of the post-Reagan devolution), so fuck him sideways.

His favorability is at 34 and unfavorability at 41, meaning 25 percent don’t know who he is. In reality 70% probably have no idea who he is, and another section think he was Eddie Munster.

The Hubble Telescope just located the goalposts necessary to call Trump-distancers “moderate Republicans,” 4.5 billion light years away.

Ken Bone: He cancels out everybody’s vote.

I’d like to know if such talk would have ever developed in USFL locker rooms but that dumb shitbag killed the league.

Two equally matched shitbags in terms of loud, meaningless, time-eating blather > one dominant shitbag

“Not a problem for us” — The Texans

Meanwhile, as the debate-embracing dreck wars rage on, the 10 am portable convection oven half-hour on The Infomercial Channel continues its dominance unabated

Really, can pay equality and unanimous Bechdel Test passage rates be that far behind?

“Touchdowns are overrated” — Bill O’ Brien

I’m not the target audience for the trailers, but the newer ones with current events pictures interspersed just seemed to be badly pandering and quasi-desperate. Not that the first trailer was that much better, it was like a Chappelle’s Show parody of Oscar bait.

Finally, our long national nightmare is over.

Problem is Ranaan still spooked Eli who threw his wadded-up jersey into the arms of a defender.

Come on Kellyanne, you look to be a older Gen-Xer, and even the youngest slacker is well past the female expiration date for him.

What’s remarkable to me is how much more absolutely hopeless the 3-2 Texans are (two dispiriting blowouts; shut out in playoff home game last season) compared to many 2-3 or 1-4 teams, where I’m actively rooting for them to miss the playoffs this year to avoid future embarrassment.

There can only be one Master Thespian.