I have similar semi-irrational micro-routines as well. What drives me most nuts is when one of my neighbors parks in “my spot” on the street. It’s not my spot, but it’s definitely “my spot”... fuck outta here.

goddamn you

If you think for one MINUTE she’s not going to be the next Bachelorette, you are deluding yourself. These women don’t go on the show to find love; love is just the surprise cherry on top after you get Instagram-famous and start selling diet teas.

Chris Harrison is a real life Caesar Flickerman

My ex-husband murdered our son, and I’m the one who found him dead, with my ex just sitting calmly on the couch.

Are you serious? If you’re struggling to make rent, YES.

Right. I am totally on the side of the mistreated employees UNTIL they commit violent crimes. And even then, I might have been able to at least sympathize a tiny bit if she’d attacked her actual employers. It would still be an awful thing to do, but a tiny bit more understandable.

I worked briefly as a bank teller when I was in high school so I could afford college tuition, and some of the clientele treated me like absolute garbage, and it’s clear they often took out their personal frustrations on the staff of the bank.

If you are her defense attorney, I’ll allow.

It is an injustice to paint these parents in any other light than grieving fucking parents.

Agreed. Her voice grates on me. I do not like.

Wait tho what if I judge you so hard you die.

It’s true, most people pay no attention to other folks at the gym, UNLESS they’re doing very, very dumb and/or dangerous shit. People should never take their exercise cues from the latest edition of InShape or Men’s Health.

I have to disagree with you here. I cancelled my membership at my old gym specifically because of this. While using the treadmill closest to the front counter, I could hear every comment that employees were making about the overweight members who came through the door. Things like “Why does he even bother?” and making…

I only judge people at the gym who don’t re-rack their weights.

“You just have to find your thing. It can’t be a chore.”

I always say the closest I get to meditation is getting sucked into a good book while on the stairmill. Something about the combination of physical exertion and total immersion in the book world makes me feel like I’m almost in a trance.

Get a rope.

To me it’s almost like a meditation aid. It can be hard to quiet the mind while you’re just sitting there still. On the other hand, it’s basically impossible to form abstract thoughts during intense exercise.

Julianne, Vanessa had the baby! Francisco! Fraaaancisco, Francisco, that’s fun to say.