I love the little droopy left ball.

Jim Cooke, you are so good. I'm not even reading the article, I just clicked to show my appreciation for your illustrative genius.

The only thing I remotely agreed with was use your tongue. I'm assuming we are talking about cunnilingus so yes, use your tongue. Otherwise, I wish this had been written by one of the regular staff at Jez because this shit was not even funny.

Couple of years ago there was something going on involving a phone number one digit off from mine being used by a girl on some hookup site, so I was getting texts from random guys, all of them containing dick pics of frankly terribly low quality.

Could that guy look more like a porno historian

and choose an angle that doesn't highlight your balls and asshole for once

I'm offended by unsolicited dick pics, definitely. Sometimes guys just... send them. No warning, no nothing.

Can I add one suggestion? If you're gonna take a dick pic, clean up your pubes first. TRIMMING IS IMPORTANT YOU GUYS.

Remember folks, if you're gonna take a picture in the bathtub, the water better not be cold, because shrinkage is a thing.

that is the absolute best theory ever and I hereby wholeheartedly subscribe it for ever

And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.

Yo, Senator Corbin?

My response to the whole "women came from Adam's rib bullshit":

This angers me so much that I cannot even talk about it just

This gif is never not applicable.

I hope every barbecue joint in the Southeast refuses to serve him because he insulted their product by calling it a "lesser cut of meat."

I'd rather eat the lesser cut than whatever cut infected his brain with prions.

There is nothing better in this world than all-you-can-eat ribs. Nothing.

There are no lesser cuts of meat, just different ways of preparing them to perfection.