You being an A.V. Club commenter, I'd say it's fair to assume you experience social anxiety, or some variety of mental health issues. Based on that, I am 100% certain you would love this show.

"Boy cock, girl cock, E-I-E-I-O."

High profile creepy harem + no non-disclosure agreement = "entertainment"

A Newswire seems like an inconspicuous enough place to drop a note.

The fuck's an Auacado?

I'd prefer a rooftop concert in the freezing cold which ends up being shut down by the police, but I'm corny like that.

This is a pretty messed up way to announce your band is breaking up.

Low-level DoD staff #1: I've got that Good Charlotte guy on hold.
Low-level DoD staff #2: Oh, you are terrible.
#1: Uuh, Mr. DeLonge? Hi. I can't talk long, if I get caught leaking classified information, it's over for me. You understand. Now, do you have your map? The site is out in Western Utah, you're going to need a…

More horses.

your roommates name is mary

Good to see you too, Sludge.

Yeah, but I'm even less funny out loud. Thanks, though.

My jokes are always falling flat. Maybe they're not as good as I think they are.

20-some-odd years, that's about how long I figure it ought to take me or one of my sons and daughters to find the hidden jetpack in GTA V.

Conterpoint:
Tearjerker hugging scene.
"Oh no, it's a Q!! It's supposed to be a G!!"
"Where the fuck is Ringo? I am a star. I'm a star, I'm a star, I'm a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That's right."

Paul W.S. Anderson, from city council. He ran in '93 out in Oakland, you probably didn't hear about him.

Did you at least watch Boogie Nights all the way through and go, "Eh, it's pretty okay"?

Oops. Oops. Oops. Oops.

I hope it doesn't stop until we get to see a highly fictionalized version of Yakov Smirnoff.

How do you pronounce "Rihanna"?