Chuck Norris can be three things.

I'm bad at ripping off jokes from SNL.

I have an urge to punch you in the face, and a conflicting urge to stay up late with you braiding eachother's hair and talking about boys.

But what do you think of Powdered Toast Man?

What was I thinking? SpongeBob vegetables and homosexuality, Ren & Stimpy homework and taking all the power away from the whites. I can never keep these things straight.

That show was designed by Satanists to expose kids to homosexuality and make refuse to eat their vegetables.

Of course he is. Did George W. Bush stop being baseball commissioner after 2000?

We assure you, no self-avowed hitmen will be harmed in the making of this movie.

Maybe Jeff Bridges could save this.

#ToneItDownWithTheBoobage
#BringBackDong

Great Job, @Sillstaw.

Erotic, chocolate. Funny how the brain works.

Ving Rhames got medieval, Leo DiCaprio got Old Testament.

Say no more!

Pam and Joey contractually locked in a half hour show for at least a few months. Go TV!

As long as they don't fuck with my Walker, Texas Ranger reruns.

Let's see here. Skipping article, and…

Awesome! 3/10.

I lo-ove Freaky Freezers.

I sat on my hand until it was numb and jerked off. *BUZZ!!*
I fuсked a couch cushion.*BUZZ!!*
Alright, it was a grapefruit.