I took the practice test, got 9 out of 30 and missed 4 that I knew the answer to. If I studied like Rosie Perez, I could maybe be smart enough to get on Jeopardy. Only problem is, every single favorite personal anecdote of mine is the kind that makes people go, "O-ka-a-a-ay…"

Yes, sir.

A little ashamed over not getting the second Double Jeopardy one particular question…

Devo will be inducted alongside The 1975.

He's too old to be statutory raped.

For all the escalating jokes about Dennis possibly being a rapist and/or serial killer over the years, the show and Howerton have always depicted his black-eyed craziness as stemming from some serious inner demons, and Ms Klinsky provides what may be the most telling puzzle piece yet.

Cricket's back! He looks worse than ever, but he has a ways to plummet still.

Well, now Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life has a tagline— "A woman's mouth is not for the exiting of words but for the entering of a dick."

It's not so bad. I'm the front half, so I don't really have to do anything.

I'm not sexually attracted to male humans, but he is a beefcake. Anthropomorphic cereal mascots who remind me of a coach seem to do it for me though.

Your news round-up for the day:

I would fuck Tony the Tiger so hard…

I was afraid Christopher Walken would show up and give me a watch that had been up his and my father's ass.

There's only one way to win at luck-based games: cheat.

I can't compete with studs like that. I'm living one foot in the glue factory.

No disrespect, do you squirt? I ain't trying to drain your meatflaps, I'm just #ASKING. My boy's trying to pop a drain in your beef glands but I'm just trying to write some Super Nintendo Yelp reviews. What are you reading, Mein Kampf?

So hot. What a champ.

It's a fine line to walk but somehow they do it.

2022 - Blink-182 is inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Whichever classic groundbreaking band you like is snubbed yet again.

I'll still quote from The Eric Andre Show whenever given the chance. I don't care if nobody gets it.