best one ever:

I want to say something shallow, stupid, and sarcastic that I’m sure I would think was funny and that will probably include the word “Millennial” but no. This is just sad and tragic.

Between 1:3 and 1:4. There were definitely a few wipers.

Some of those definitely sounded like they required some follow-up paperwork.

Finally, someone is using instagram for it’s intended purpose.  Also, there is no way none of those were sharts.

I want to know the shart/fart ratio

In my (public) school experience, if you can’t blame one student the entire class gets punished.

History has not “long tussled” with this question.

I went to Catholic school. At least once a week we had go pray silently in the chapel. And every week it was basically a competition to see who could unseal the funniest fart, because there is literally nothing in the world funnier than a fart in a silent, solemn environment. 

Boyfriend still farting all over town. SOS. Send help.

The “Crunchy Box” has 6,792 calories worth of nosh.

Wot! No saveloys?

I await the video of Trump being frog-marched onto a plane to Gitmo.

I could dig a video of Cohen being frog-marched onto a plane to Gitmo.

Except Rachel didn’t do any hyping of that thing.

Let me guess this straight. A video clearly contradicting trump’s repeated claims that his relationship with Cohen was old news is not relevant to you? The motherfucker was on Trump’s god damned plane and had straight access to the president as he walked up to where he was sitting. So tell me again how video evidence…

if you’re trying to be covert about it

A steady diet of Dr Seuss and Edward Gorey in my younger years, followed by acid and other such chemicals in my teen years, ended with lots of books and kitties.

This is such a weird mix of adorable and sinister. Who made your brain?

Is there one where Chumps hair comes alive at night and has oodles of escapades as it jumps off his head and scampers around the Oh So Very White House? Running amok in the kitchen, doing gymnastics in the Lincoln Bedroom, and climbing onto any ladies lap as it emulates a pampered lapdog? Just don’t let the hair get…