Oh, sure, it's just me hangin' out in a barren, dingy room with a rusty radiator, ya know, jeans scrunched down so's I can barely move my legs and my bare ass and bits on a slippery, possibly questionable leather armchair that's the only place to sit 'cept the floor (splinters!) or what looks like a janky bathtub off…

I can't summon anything but heartbreak for how utterly pathetic that is.

I looked her up, she's supposed to be a character that represents bad internet characters. Could be quite funny but didn't work in this bit.

Miranda Sings is just annoying, and none of them are good at Pictionary. This has been your episode of "Ogre States the Obvious" for this morning.

The best thing about that joke is that those of us who are just normal adult people who listen to public radio, with jobs and degrees and credit scores and lives only even get that joke because of Gawker and Girls on HBO. If hating things that people do really is a 20 something practice, that seems stupid and…

Fun fact, your body naturally produces formaldehyde and so there's already about 16 mg of formaldehyde in your blood.

Maybe. But I really think "Sea Muppet" would be a better name for that guy.

I think you mean Schrödinger's scat, ;)

Hopefully not; if Sting is involved, it could go on for hours!

Thanks! Hope it's not an S.O.S.

I don't always have vaginal corona, but when I do, I like it with lime and a little salt around the rim.

Diddle the Skittle

This is totally off topic but I HAD to tell you—I LOVE YOUR SCREEN NAME! That is the kind of humor that cracks me up!1

Food-stealing elementary-school kids are the WORST. It's always the one who had eaten 3 pounds of paste, play-doh, and boogers since they got to school. Leave my poor baloney/no-cheese sandwich and sliced apple outta this.

Bwa-HA!!! —— Yah, I can pull it out sometimes... LOL... Go be a smart-mouth, be a thorn, go be the gorgeously dressed ingenue at the next event you're invited to... the SPEAK YOUR SHIT. Make your impression.

Picture yourself:

"Well, I thought you'd have lost weight before trying to date."

Ugh, as an actual historian, like, with degrees and all that jazz, armchair historians are the most annoying people on earth. Oh, please tell me more about the names and important dates about dead white dudes. So stimulating.

Well you sir can go fuck yourself. If you don't like the tourists at a tourist attraction, don't fucking live near it. And your thinly veiled threat about murdering tourists is absolutely disgusting. YOU can't control the flow of the public on public grounds, nor do you have the right to.

"Draw me like one of your Orlesian Qunari."