I think you mean Schrödinger's scat, ;)

Hopefully not; if Sting is involved, it could go on for hours!

Thanks! Hope it's not an S.O.S.

I don't always have vaginal corona, but when I do, I like it with lime and a little salt around the rim.

Diddle the Skittle

This is totally off topic but I HAD to tell you—I LOVE YOUR SCREEN NAME! That is the kind of humor that cracks me up!1

Food-stealing elementary-school kids are the WORST. It's always the one who had eaten 3 pounds of paste, play-doh, and boogers since they got to school. Leave my poor baloney/no-cheese sandwich and sliced apple outta this.

Bwa-HA!!! —— Yah, I can pull it out sometimes... LOL... Go be a smart-mouth, be a thorn, go be the gorgeously dressed ingenue at the next event you're invited to... the SPEAK YOUR SHIT. Make your impression.

Picture yourself:

"Well, I thought you'd have lost weight before trying to date."

Ugh, as an actual historian, like, with degrees and all that jazz, armchair historians are the most annoying people on earth. Oh, please tell me more about the names and important dates about dead white dudes. So stimulating.

Is this a coincidence that you used a picture of Fred?

"Draw me like one of your Orlesian Qunari."

Have you seen this? cats stealing dogs' beds.

look at these baby plattys instead

Some of my bean plants got torn up, but it was more than worth it.

I know this is supposed to make us all "ugh, kids, these days", but honestly it makes me wish their parents paid more taxes.

I'm sorry, someone had a $20,000 10th birthday party? Geez, I thought getting an American Girl doll for your 10th birthday meant that your parents were going all out.

#TeamTapatío

I'm "plus-size" and have a friend who is exceptionally thin. It's no more okay for people to comment about her body than it is for them to comment about mine. She's no less real and I'm no less human. But we both get shit. It's not okay in either case.