I hope he died in a fire.

Ah, man, I think I am over it now for the most part but I used to be SUPER territorial about my food. It was one of those residual PTSD-esque symptoms from being bullied for many years as a kid. Other kids, often ones I called "friends", would take my packed lunch every day. It was extra annoying for two reasons 1- I…

I went on a few dates with a guy once. When he drove me home one night there was a coyote in the street in front of his car and I gasped, because I love coyotes and don't usually see them up close. He passed it and then immediately pulled a u- turn and started chasing after it. I asked home what the fuck he was doing…

Mark, is this art?

ugh ughh ugghghghgaaahhh!

it takes me three years to make that much. that's like, a third of that kid's life.

That reminds me of the best birthday party I ever went to as a kid, a mess party. They had us all wear our rattiest old clothes and set up tables outside with ketchup, mustard, silly string and pie tins filled with whipped cream and cookie crumbs. We had the most epic food battle of all time, I will never forget the…

Sriracha and mayo is amazing! It is what MAKES my sushi-go-round experience. I know that's because it's shitty sushi but I can't help my income bracket.

oh shit, seriously, you must try at least once. It's magic!

I knew a kid in sixth grade who said he was allergic to red food coloring, but he ate all the orange and purple candy no problem. It pissed me off.

Which is how beaded curtains came to exist.

Ha! Cherry Chapstick, priceless.

unrelated question- What is sky meat? I've been wondering for a while, your Ricky avatar caught my eye but the name has just raised further questions.

Also, it may have something to do with the fact that there exists a notable group of their consumers complaining online about the sandals reacting with their natural foot sweat to produce a weird gross smell after only a few days of wear. Apparently it is so bad that they have to be thrown away. Maybe this is their…

The more you know moment impending- itis means 'the swelling of'. As in tonsillitis or bronchitis. Scooby Doo's Crazy Old Man Did It-itis would be the swelling of the thing a crazy old man beholden to a mystery-solving cartoon dog did, which makes very little sense.

I think you mean Queen Elizardbeth

Or this person

Except when it sparks social change, then it is invaluable.

On a side note, do you think she takes her coffee half calf?

That's just your knee-jerk reaction. Don't get so caught up on the tibial details!