The crutches aren’t even the weird part here and nor are the the sweet potatoes.

I simultaneously love the phrase “human embodiment of a white leather couch” and have no clue what it means (other than BAD)

This does not look like sackcloth to me.

There’s an old book online called “Curiosities of Puritan Nomenclature” (linked in case you’re interested enough to read some of it) from 1880, which has an interesting theory on the development of English pet names to be found in the first chapter.

The only diminutive forms of Bridget I can think of off the top of my head are Biddy and Bridie, and Google isn’t much help. The first sounds too much like “old biddy” to me (though I don’t know if it’s a common phrase everywhere it’s a super condescending one), but Bridie is nice?

Starred for Discworld!

Which is particularly hellish in December when the heating only works so well.

Isn’t it from the Onion?

And the next stop on the slippery slope is ............ BALLOON MARRIAGE!

This.

No dear, you are not the pro life generation. Look around you.

I think we’ve all learned the answer to this question by now, and the answer is THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH!

It works!

Four-year-old me, who informed everyone that I was a waitress at a local italian place, would disagree fiercely with you - but I grew out of that.

They also brought 300 helots with them, who were forced to fight even when Leonidas allowed the allies who wanted to to leave, having recognised that they were fighting a losing battle. Of the 1500 men who ended up defending Thermopylae, around 300 were spartan soldiers, 300 were helots (slaves), 400 were allies from…

Wrong decade, surely? This looks almost 1830s - i.e. victorian - in the skirt than it does regency (see particularly the green dress on the bottom row)

You knew your own mind!

Yeah, tthe stereotype is more this

Also, what is wrong with a little bit of judging books by their covers? The covers are chosen by the publisher to project a certain age and attract specific target audiences.