If you think that’s a bad picture, you’d think that I look like a literal monster in every single picture I’ve ever taken. Michelle O is one of the most beautiful women alive!

I was thinking future Fox News show host, but the View is also a very strong possibility.

I WISH my first year roommate had written me an email like this before the school year started so I could have been prepared for the shit show that was the rest of the year.

Are you telling me that he needs to say Bye Bye Bye to his dreams of going to space?

JERRY BROWN, I TRUSTED YOU! But seriously, this sucks. Usually I’m a big fan of JB, but was not the best decision on his part.

Confession time: I find that guy Luka kind of cute in a vaguely-Italian-looking way.

I’m sorry, but until Republicans come out and admit that Ronald Fucking Reagan was barely able to function as president because of Alzheimer’s during the last few years of his presidency, their theories about Hillary’s supposed “neurological” illnesses hold exactly zero weight.

I used to be able to reconcile my Catholicism and feminism, especially within the context of Jesuit theology that focuses on seeing the inherent worth of all people, fighting for social justice causes, and giving preferential treatment to the poor. But then I started living with a few really hardcore Catholics and…

I shamelessly have a huge crush on lil Luke. I can’t help it or explain it.

Good lord. So dumb. So tacky.

Forget clear plastic clothes, I want to bring back clear plastic inflatable furniture of the late 90s!

Yes, please!

I am an American and it freaks me out too. I’m proud to say I’ve never touched a gun and hopefully will never touch one the rest of my life.

Watching tonight’s speech, I was horrified. I was horrified at Trump’s actual words of course, but more so at the reality that so many people in this country support those values and want to implement an ideology test that they themselves would likely not pass.

Whatever the number, there is a 100% chance that he makes out with the one behind him in the picture.

I can finally fulfill my dream of living like the servants on Downton Abbey!

Until they finally give an interview in which they flat out say, “Yes, we are Scientologists and have been the whole time,” I’m not interested.

Last night I watched Willy Wonka with my parents and brother over Facetime. It was one of the movies I watched a lot as a child and growing up, my family would often quote Willy Wonka’s lines to each other. “Stop. Don’t. Come back,” was one of our favorites. Without Gene Wilder, that movie probably would have faded…

Just in time for the family Labor Day bbq.

I registered Peace and Freedom party when I turned 18, a party even more obscure and useless than the Greens. I guess I’m a kind of a sellout because I changed my registration to the Democratic party to be able to vote for Obama in the primaries (and have considered myself a true Democrat ever since). 17 year old me…