I just came here to say this is the best article I have read on Jezebel since the when we talked about who was the worst at "adulting"

Jolie, you are a swell gal and I like the cut of your jib.

Bacon Mania Went Too Far. 5 years ago.

I (sadly) read the entire letter. In my head it was written on Poochie (for Girls!) stationary, and the 'i's were dotted with hearts.

Why does their age dictate their ability to learn - especially with their white woman privilege?

"Feminism is having a moment, you guys. First Miley Cyrus and now Courtney Stodden—everyone wants to be part of our little club! It would seem that we are officially in the midst of the Fourth Wave. The difference is that this time around we're wearing makeup, so people don't mind being associated with us".

I almost shared this link. Then I thought to myself
"Whoa,whoa, woah self! THIS WAS LAST. FUCKING NIGHT. MAYBE PEOPLE HAVEN'T SEEN IT YET". Do I want to be a dick?
/the answer was no.

I get wanting to share "up to the minute" things, but mainpage-ing it?

I listen to Nickelback. UN-Ironocally.
Will this harm my chances of getting in?

I listen to Nickelback. UN-Ironocally.
Will this harm my chances of getting in?

True, But the more I live in the US, the more appealing Canada seems.

1. All of the Canadians I know are awesome people.
2. HEALTHCARE (although I suspect it is not all kittens pooping sparkles, it has to be better than this shitshow)
3. Crack Smoking Toronto mayor = ENDLESS jokes.
4. French Canadian accents make me want…

Fuck this shit. I'm taking my cats and moving to Canada.

And another piece of my Humanity puzzle was just eaten by my fucking cat.

Beastie Boys >>>>> Company making a profit off of gender-bias by selling
"SCIENCE! BUT FOR GIRLS!", who do so via annoying commercial starring little girls with spoiled-little girl voices singing music that said company didn't ask to use.

Hmm..that was a bit long-winded.

Beastie Boys >>>>>>>> children in general.

Ok people, let's see a show of hands. Who here knows who The Beastie Boys are.
..I see, most of you. Sounds about right..

Up until RIGHT NOW, I had forgotten how hot Michael Nesmith was.

I tip my hat to you, Internet Person.

Great.
NOW I WANT UNDERPINNINGS WITH THOSE CATS ON THEM.
RIGHT NOW.
I WANT TO CLOSE MY EYES, OPEN THEM AGAIN, AND "OMG UNDERPINNINGS WITH THOSE CATS ON THEM, RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!".

GODDAMM YOU, LAURA BECK.

Will numbing cream also work for waxing?

Ballroom dance fighting elimination-style where the losers have to wear one of those petticoats made of what feels like fiberglass yarn sewn together with strings of tiny kitten claws and one of those not sexy but nightmarish 50's ribcrusher fucking corsets FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT UNTIL A VICTOR HAS BEEN DECLARED.

pshh..I didn't say WHAT kind of dance, silly. I am fucking AWESOME at The Robot.

/also, I have never owned Day of the Weeks, but I would probably re-wash Saturday/Sunday every day so I could wear only them, put Tuesday and Wed on Bruce/Big Steve and take 491 pictures, pack Thursday in my emergency overnight bag and…

on a completely unrelated topic, am I the only one who wishes that instead of employing petty, passive aggressive, manipulative actions which PERPETUATE this lame (although sadly true more often then I'd like to admit, since I am a Vagian) stereotype of women, that someone just landed a solid right cross on the…

Needs more man-hating.
/unless said men are hot and then we should be objectifying them.

YOU'RE SLIPPING, JEZEBEL.