For $2600 Those boxers better make me breakfast and clean up anything my cat horks up.

Jezebel: Turning 88% of what they read into an outrage piece towards "THE EVIL, EVIL MEN"
Unless "we"(Jezebel writers) think men are hot and have not been (recently) in the path of "our" outrage. then it's TOTES OK, you guys! Not only that, "we" can post pictures of them and then the masses can blatantly objectify…

Bullshit. I will marry a guy I'm attracted to.
Is anyone surprised that most women don't outwardly list attractive as high up as men? Society shapes women to feel "shallow" for wanting this.

I am so (irrationally) irate at the fact that I FUCKING LOVED MY CAT SWEATSHIRT FROM 1987 and it was cotton candy pink and has a kitten on it and was encrusted with faux rhinestones AND I FUCKING LOVED IT, but I was called a "Cat Lady" (I didn't know you could be a cat lady at the age of 9?) and so rarely wore it.

AND…

Pshhhhh...fuck looking good. My selfies are for pure entertainment value.
My most recent one was me with my hair looking like Wolverine (as it is prone to do 99.45% of mornings), with bamboo salad tossing thingies taped to my hands, pretending to be vegetarian wolverine.

"Stop this. Selfies aren't empowering; they're a high tech reflection of the fucked up way society teaches women that their most important quality is their physical attractiveness".

I will never see anything about these "segments" that doesn't set Jezebel back.
(I read one once. I pretty much ruined any feelings I had about Jezebel being anything more than a slightly wittier, cattier, and man-hatier version of the other 2791 "Feminist" websites.
BUT YOU GUYS! IT'S JEZEBEL AND ALL Of THE WITTY.. SO…

I like the paintings. I think they are weird and hilarious.

Let's play an adult game called "separate your feelings about a person's particular action(s) from your feelings about their other actions, because people are made up of many feels/decisions"!

Big Steve and his "DO NOT WANT!" face.

"How to make baby showers suck less" by Otter
Step 1. Stop having babies.
Step 2. See Step 1.

I recognize 4 names and 3 faces in this entire article.

/FAILS AT CELEBRITIES.

"We want to be an ageless, raceless, weightless agency".

I have 7 boxes of mini ice cream sandwiches (the Generic Target kind) in my freezer.
The fridge has whatever Mr. Pantslessness has put in there. I couldn't tell you off the top of my head. Maybe some ham? Actually, definitely some ham. I ate it last night.

How I read this article:

I listen to Nickleback.

In other news, Karl Lagerfeld just rage-drank 617 Diet Cokes.

My cat Bruce walks around the house chirping and peeping all day. I am often paralyzed by the cute and thus forced to be even LESS productive then I already am.

You've just made my Christmas shopping 182% easier.

/FUCKYEAH!

Oh, I'm not. Those posts were CHOCKED FULL-O-SNARK.
I think you're breathlessly out of touch with reality in regards to the whole "being touched thing". Especially on airplanes.