That light blue dress thing with the dinosaurs.

You’re kidding, right?

I didn’t delete anything. This was a newly “attempted to download” app.

When I click on the link, I get “site can’t be reached”

Say it louder for the people in the back. 

Black TikTok is the one thread keeping me sane.

Can we discuss how Joe Biden’s barber is clearly a Bernie fan, based on the fact that the back of his hair always looks like he let a 4 year old with safety scissors just go to fucking town. 

Oh, sweetheart..if you only knew.

I’d officially like to secede from my race.

You sound like a spawn of every self-help “guru” ever.

I interpret the information in this article as an excuse to wear this everyday and not seem  weird. 

I was feeling a bit “out of sorts”

3 Bloody Marys for breakfast because SPICY V-8 = NUTRITION. 

Don’t fight it. Let it be a source of comfort, and dare I say, pride...knowing what Pebble the color ‘red’ Tastes like.

What are your thoughts on Count Chocula’s siblings-BooBerry and FrankenBerry?

You’re not a true Fruity Pebbles fan unless you’ve stood in your kitchen at 3:17am shoveling them into your face from the mixing bowl, with a serving spoon, desperately trying to fix your fucked up Pebbles to Milk Ratio, until you realize you’ve chowed down the entire box, yet failed to achieve this goal.

So we still ok leaning the house for nonessential reasons.

The restaurants now offering curbside/carry-out, and the people still using it, would like to have a word with you

I was trapped for 72 minutes. I couldn’t feel my left leg and I almost pissed myself.

Loosely-based, but another plus of doing this is it can reduce acne on your lower face.