Oh No! Anyone know the opposite of Cocoa-licious? 'Cuz, this is it!

@Armuun: Are you implying that this is a Bending unit?

I love the Hand Koozies. but I have to ask, just whose protection are they for? His? Or... ours?

I'm Late. It's tired.

@smkm: They're obviously quoting another sign... maybe one about parking violations or something. There's probably a bibliography on the back.

@Wheema: I don't know about that...

Okay... doubling posting...

When leaving Heathrow, sometimes they ask me to take off my shoes and place them on the conveyor belt when I go through security. Sometimes they don't.

@Exilm: REALLY!

I mean... I'm no Air-oh-notikal N-Jen-ear, but seems like an easy fix to me. Why not put windmills on the tops of planes and make all that turbulence and windspeed work for us for a change?

@Michael Arago: I think you missed what I was getting at. Unfortunately there's no Barry White font out there yet that I'm aware of. So perhaps a little background music is what's called for.

Hey baby, mind if I spread you open with my spider (yeah, that's what it's called), and insert my rigid instrument. Or maybe some universal suction is just what the doctor ordered, but only if you're feeling flexible.

@Clancycoop: Technically, even comments are superfluous. Old articles used to be printed in Newspapers or Magazines and didn't have comment sections. If you wanted to complain about something in the paper, you bitched to your friend at lunch. (For those of you more prone to griping, you could write a letter to the…

@Settings: No. I politely disagree (this is all opinion anyway). I feel that you're using weird when you should be using unnatural. Nothing in nature is unnatural for the reasons you stated. But weird is just what deviates from your own perception of all that you perceive is not weird.

@Zachonium: I know right! I'm not sure if I can cope with that. Control the Ducks!?

@Settings: Weird and Normal are subjective qualifications of observable and conceivable reality, which he admits "exists only in our minds".

@macpatrik: Yeah.. it looks like it tires itself out just by being on. Everything looks slow and awkward.

Wait, won't painting everything white raise the Earth's... um... albed... no.. libedo? And then the Earth will start acting like a real sex-crazed jerk and none of the female planets will want anything to do with it. And even Venus will give Earth the ol' cold shoulder and usher in a new ice age?

Definitely cool, but where on a daily basis could I get away with wearing glowing neon circles on my wrist? Whether at work or driving home at night, it would just be too distracting.

Has this been addressed somewhere else or is this the standard these days? What's with the smiley button? Given the space constraints it seems like an odd choice to designate one button for emoticons. Would have seemed more logical to make that button the @ symbol and add smileys as a 2nd function elsewhere. Or am…