On a Friday not too long ago I spilled a certain full 12oz beverage on my laptop and didn't realize it until the next morning. On the following Wednesday my girlfriend tripped and dropped her laptop, destroying the display. Neither of those laptops cost $2500, and even factoring the cost to repair and replace, the…

Isn't time really just a property of the observer anyway? I mean, look a rocks. They don't see shit and they don't get old.

@bayktdin: Zulus Impersonating Lou Ferrigno?

@bthoefer: I don't know.... throw some cash at a French judge. A 6 turns into an 8 so easy. There are ways.

@WolfCobra13: Seriously. 45 grand! Unless you're North Korea in the Olympics with your national pride at stake, why bother?

Come back early in the morning and see the Milk truck. A little bit later and see the Frito-Lay truck. Nabisco... General groceries... It's a loading dock. In college I drove a Coke truck. I'd have to wait for the Pepsi truck just as often as they would have to wait for me.

@tomsomething: Agreed. Cross-eyed drunk already.

@lololzak: I drank some of that years ago. I don't remember the taste, I just recall feeling really sorry for the snake.

@Ben Babcock: "From the first to last, I'll give'em a blast so fast that their life is past before their ass has even hit the Grass."

@Black Knight Rebel: Agreed. Don't be Just Another Statistic.

I had to think about it for a while. I felt that there must be something in this world I am obsessed with, or at least unconditionally passionate about.

@WestwoodDenizen: I predict that he'll only do the 5 years for the possession of child pornography at the most. So in essence (because concurrent sentences are simply a way of putting multiple things on your permanent record without punishing you for each individually) he won't serve a day of the Perverting the…

@ddhboy: When Microsoft announced that it was killing Windows Mobile and starting from scratch my ears perked up and I let myself get a little excited.

You know what? They're bluffing. It's like they know that if they get our expectations up, we'll be like, #sarcasm "oh cool another smartphone that does everything all the other phones do. Whoo-hoo. Who cares."

There may be a better chance of you getting slapped by a clown at your girlfriend's Mom's new husband's son's from his first marriage 7th birthday party, after drunkenly insinuating that all clowns think magnets work by magic, than by dying in a plane crash (of course sadly there is no repudiable organization that…

@funstraw: Elegantly stated

The last metal lunchbox, from 1976?

@failtroll_is_fail: In times of economic distress people have to find ways to save somehow. Personally I choose to cut back on gourmet chocolate (and evidently proof-reading, judging by the errors in my initial post). These guys have decided that the art of chocolatiering is worth the scruffy chins, and clearly have…

I thought Chocolate was good. Then I had it with Bacon.