I eat at my desk but if I’m honest, I rarely put in a full work day anyway. I work in an office and I usually finish my work before the whole day is out. Whether I’m doing something super-productive or reading the news over and over or working on my freelance assignments, I’m still looking at a screen, so. Most of the…

Blowing it up from the inside, I guess. That seems so 80s tho.

They’re soo cute. And also: they locomote by farting. At least according to this very reliable source. I definitely relate.

Some doofus on FB (by which I mean my brother’s best man) was jabbering on the other day about how the gun control lobby makes money from George Soros. Same idea, I guess? About as likely as there being a sweet, sweet degree of research money (as a former researcher, I can attest that it is all bitter, dehydrated and…

Precious bodily fluids!

I HATE THE GOVERNMENT AND EVERYTHING IT STANDS FOR AND I’MMA OVERTHROW IT. Career choice: Governor (??)

Yes, why have laws against assault, murder, robbery...it still happens! Never mind what laws are for...you know, having recourse after something bad happens, and maybe having something for prevention, too...

Let’s not even pretend it’s not just an auxiliary peen, now.

Yeah, I have a hard time understanding how that wouldn’t change a person’s mind. Let’s not live in fear...by having more guns? IDK. I will stay in Europe for now thx.

My beloved, departed kitty used to hang out around the lavender plant so she could catch and decapitate huge numbers of them. You’re probably pretty awesome, too. And you’re not eating songbirds, so.

Hills is like Why I Got 2 Hang wid Dese Bitchez? None of them even know about pants.

Scary good. Very scary.

Oh, but haven’t you heard that the government is always bad and incompetent, and the private sector is always altruistic and working in everyone’s best interests? Brought to you by the same logic that overthrew everyone’s labor rights...

they look like small telephone receivers to me.

They look kind of like seagulls. Or pelicans.

I’d be curious about what happens to anger levels after women have kids. This might not be common, but my best friend lost her fricken mind when she had a baby and decided, after years of being a thoughtful, well-traveled, compassionate person, that Paul Ryan had great ideas, that everyone on welfare was a scammer,…

I don’t need a cleanse, I had my Christmas colonics, courtesy of my mother-in-law, who not only insists that I not bring anything to her place for big dinners but also insists that everything that is cooked must be fried, sometimes twice. Ingesting a few cups of reused sunflower oil by taking in 5-6 french fries will…

yeah, but does he got the moves like jagger...

I hope Kendall Jenner washed his hair first. Yikes. Lawsy, the bar is so low for guys.

I mean, I bet if I go through all the pics in that link, I will eventually find this guy: