Sure, maybe...but only if you define a “loser” as someone who loses.

Like most people, they criticize in others what they secretly despise about themselves, you fat asshole. 

When you’re a Jet,
You’re a Jet ‘til you die
From your first Keurig cup
To your last pizza pie.

When you’re a Jet,
You can eat on the can,
“You good?” to the wife,
You’re a family man.

You’re never alone,
You’re never intercepted.
You’re home on your phone—
When sleep is expected,
You’re well connected!

Then on the set
Of the…

Weird, someone in the office is chopping onions right now. I’ll have to close my door for a few minutes then ask them to stop.

And they are gonna CRUSH those church nerds.

Never thought I’d see a pro-gun take on Deadspin.

I may be a minority, but I’m totally ok with a control dial. I hate fingerprints on my screens, and I like tactile feedback and buttons. I could also reference Mazda’s studies that found that people unconsciously move their steering wheel every time they go to touch the screens, so to prevent that, they made a control…

Have they mentioned what the annual fee will be to unlock the shifter?  Can I pay a flat rate at purchase to keep the shifter unlocked?

Why would someone rev their car for minutes on end, especially at night? Why bounce it off the rev limiter? Why continue revving it after there are clearly flames emanating from underneath?

Iiiiiiiin south Philadelphia with my mom
Up the first-base line was where I had my glove on
Chillin’ out maxin’ relaxin’ in my seat
And a foul ball comes shootin’ outside of my reach
When the only other kid who gave the slightest shit
Started out first and beat me to it
He got one little hug when he handed me the ball
McCart…

The Orioles are the dreary, regular kind of shitty. The Mets opened this season honestly believing they’d contend for a championship! Their dipshit general manager, who calls in game-day decisions from his damn couch, told the rest of the NL East to “come get us.”

Mets fan since ‘71, listened to the game today, and when Frazier hit his two-run home run in the 9th, I felt absolutely nothing. Not because it wasn’t a splendid moment, but because I knew — the way Spock knows that when he drops a hammer on a positive-gravity planet, he doesn’t have to see it fall to know that it has…

Sorry fellas, gotta go, I have an Alexander Pope lecture to give at Queens Community College.

Oops, looks like you misspelled ‘Waterloo.’  

When you, inevitably, do this for other pro-sports animals, please make sure Clark the Cub has a proper Bear penis.

Fixed the New Orleans Pelicans logo for you.

Ok, so just hear me out.....

One of my favorite baseball memories was being in Pittsburgh for a 3 day series between the Pirates and the Giants. Finally on the third day, Benitez came in for the Giants. He did not disappoint. Blew the save. I was finally able to enjoy watching it happen. And his dopey walk back to the dugout was finally…

Familia is horrendous. He always has been. Even when he got 52 saves in a row, he was constantly working out of trouble. The 2015 World Series wasn’t a fluke. It was how he had been performing all season, just with the normal results for such performances. Resigning him this year was an act of insanity. He does not…

I say this as a life long Mets fan, whose day to day mood is unfortunately partially dictated by the team: This is not at all surprising. This sort of dysfunction has been steady through several GMs, managers, and rosters. The mood of the team for years has been a place where good players go for their careers to die.…