I keep thinking that’s Newt Gingrich.

Hey Drew. You’re the best, and good luck with the brain and everything.

A question for the Funbag: why should I keep reading anything on this website after Jim Spanfeller and Paul Maidment went to the lengths of firing Barry, like cowards, for the dumbest of reasons?

I want to support the writers here—this is both the best website that exists, and has ever existed, and the best sports…

Where the fuck else am I supposed to go to read up on the fine print of Oddibe McDowell’s water bill?

As someone who was once part of a similar insurrection against arrogant, incompetent, and condescending management, I want to applaud all of y’all for today’s showing. I’m sure you’re simultaneously enjoying the fun of mutiny while also understanding the risk. Please also know how much it means to us here in the feebl…

These dogs are most certainly more deserving of human compassion and love than say, Jim Spanfeller (who by the way, if you didn’t know, has an email address: jim@g-omedia.com). That stain deserves to hear why a dog is more noble and deserving of human love and affection than he is.

Tom, if this unfortunate situation continues, may we have bears? 

Can you let me know when you will be returning to sports coverage so I can go back to checking in once or twice per day? I have a lot to do today at work and all of these posts about non-sports topics are distracting because I Must Read Every Single One of Them. Whereas with the sports stuff I really only care if its…

Help me, I stuck to sports and now I can’t get all this sports off of me. Can you guys get Jolie Kerr to do an article about the best way to get sports off of a nice dress shirt?

You guys are awesome. It is not hyperbole to say that this site often gets me through the day. Keep up the good work, and for the love of god do not stick to sports.

Esther, what are you sitting here slandering Hershey’s chocolate as the worst Halloween candy when Charleston Chew, Good & Plenty, Bit-o-Honey and Necco Wafers are floating around? Not to say anything of raisins!

If Hersheys is the worst you can conjure, you grew up in some high end trick or treating territory.

And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

They should post another one that says: “I am a former social media account manager.”

Or just root for a meteor. 

In every photo of him, all I see is Don Jr.

LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP.