I’ll never forget the junior prom.

I prefer to find out about pregnancy the old fashioned way, in the middle of excruciating labor in a deserted alley way, as punishment for my sins of the flesh.

I'm so uncomfortable right now.

literally wet rn.

That was glorious and also completely nauseating.

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

Militant Anne of Green Gables tho...

Even worse, my wife makes me be the one to take advantage of the ungodly long return period for the whole family.

At some point my bf and I realized that I call him “babe” when I’m being flirty and “honey” when I’m being sarcastic (as in “whatever you say, honey”) ... I think this should really be the only acceptable use of the term anyway.

It also works when drinking Cappucino.

Or just rig your sawed off shotgun just inside the refrig, and let it blast them the fuck away next time they open it.

HATE. Couldn’t tell you the last time. I like to keep my nose on the “right” side of the equation because I’m a prude who is scared of buttholes.

Yup, not to mention that it looks like the female bunnies are suffocating in the graphic.

came here to say the same thing. I CAN’T CONCENTRATE ON MY PLEASURE SO 69 IS DUMB. Can’t we just take turns like non-monsters?

Damn Tara, that illustration is flame emoji x100

being right vs. being real, as i pointed out, which i find extra tasty because it’s got so much more conviction and venom. idk what you’re talking about.

She actually said “It’s not about being bitter... it’s about being right.” Which is 1000000x better. I’m so dead I can’t move.

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I could forgive the occasional side piece, but 20 & RAW DOG at that. Fuck no. You violate my sense of security health wise & I violate your EVERYTHING.

Who has the time to be married AND fuck 20 people on the side? Seriously, I need to ask them some time management questions.