She randomly picks poor Syrian babies and human trafficking yet turns her back on issues that affect the majority of American women like this flaming mound of shit that is Trumpcare.

Anyone see the Huffpo article on UFC fighter Justine Kish who crapped herself (and all over the mat) during a match?

After birthing 3 watermelon-sized babies, I’ve peed my pants more times than I can mention. Sneezing, jumping (just saying the words *Jumping Jacks* makes me want to go to the bathroom). Laughing so hard the tears run down my legs, I’ve accepted my bladder limitations and don’t wait too long go. Or else.

I exercised through pregnancy 1 & 2 including running, but by baby 3, I might as well wear a diaper while running because I always felt like I would pee my pants. I don’t run anymore, just do fast walking with my doggies every day.

Rose is the modern day white zinfandel. I get a hangover just thinking about drinking pink wine. Bad 90's memories of pretending I was classy by orderin white zinfandel at a bar when I was 21 and wearing shoulder pads.

My daughter got a Stretch Armstrong for her birthday today and said immediately, “It looks like Donald Trump.”

She’s licking a burger with an atomic wedgie.

My husband and I watch this show mainly for the reveal, and the RIDICULOUSLY low cost of their renovations, the budget is entirely a scam. I do like her style and how she designs. After a few glasses of wine watching their nonsense, we’ve joked about Texas as a place to live...but soon sober up to reality. Nah, you…

Any attention to the topic is needed for more understanding. I never really understood eating disorders until college when 2 of my roommates had full blown bulimia. They were beautiful, smart, and had everything going for them but binged and purged with vomiting and extreme exercise. I was an athlete and worked out…

We adopted all 3 of our dogs from shelters and 2 of them are awesome with other dogs. But one is super friendly- unless your dog is black! She is totally racist and does a freaky bark at black dogs. I asked our vet, and she said it was because she can’t see their eyes. So I warn black dog owners or try to go the…

Olaplex hair mask is the bomb. Makes my hair feel like butter.

We have 3 rescue pointers that have legendary counter cruising skills. One ate a box of fireworks we got from Target for the 4th of July. I called the vet, who told us to watch out for explosive gas...

Ha! I’m also 45 and the back gets out of whack doing the dumbest things. I tried to catch a pop-up foul at my son’s baseball game. I leaned back and almost got it, but fell backwards awkwardly in my chair, threw my back out, and also peed my pants from the excitement. Good times.

My friend was bulimic and the acid from frequently vomiting caused her tooth loss.

Revenge. To show her prom date? Who knows...anytime my kids did something horrifyingly bad, instead of freaking out and going nuclear, I got the camera and took pictures and usually did a shot of tequila before cleaning it up. It saved me from beating my children and losing my mind, knowing one day when they were…

It is all about finding your tribe...I had 3 kids in 4 years and if I didn’t have my cool neighbors who didn’t judge or compete, I would not have survived the many moments I wanted to run out of the house screaming because the baby took her poopy diaper off during her nap and decided to make a poopy picasso on the…

After the election, one girl in my daughter’s class (5th graders) was VERY vocal that “We won, you lost” and told her Jewish classmates they were stupid and that Jews weren’t in charge anymore. She was sent to the principal and my kid stuck up for her Jewish classmates and told this girl to shut up.

My kids suckered us into adopting two sister cats found living in a window of a basement apartment building. We named them Laverne and Shirley.