Rodney and I were starting to wonder as well. He is an inquisitive sort of piggums!

That’s just normal human makeup. Her real picture:

What about dad-anger? Does it offer any relief from dad-anger? Because if I step on one more fucking Lego, I swear to God I’m going to burst into flames.

it’s good at killing fruit flies.

MICHELLE WOULD HAVE WORN SNEAKERS. Or a flat or duck boots or anything else a normal person would wear. GOD I hope 45 has a heart attack on top of her in bed and she’s trapped for several hours.

Putting aside for a second the absolute ridiculousness of the President of the United States giving a shit about ratings for a press conference, was he saying that he did it that night because he thought the ratings would be higher due to the hurricane, or he did it that night in order to raise ratings so more people…

Instant Karma?

This is a man who always is prepared for whatever emergency is at hand.... with the exception of fashion emergencies.

Ask and you shall receive:

I know what the butt is.

So is he just trying to weasel his way out of explicitly calling this a terrorist attack by saying “eh call it whatever,” or what?

“Welcome to the Department of Justice!”

Absolutely. Also, these people in my community are trained to speak kid language. One of the exercises they do is to project pictures of famous couples and ask the students to describe them and the relationship. Then they’d discuss if they think it’s healthy and if any behaviors are healthy or unhealthy. The trainers…

I thought General Kelly was supposed to do that (even though too well I know he’s been busy issuing orders to the ICE brownshirts to deport pastors who’ve been convicted of no crimes, and German students coming to Colorado for exchange programs, and then look the other way).

I’ve got a slight rebuttal, my friend.

This is the charming, low-stakes story I live for as I wait for the sweet release of death. Who wants scones?

Yes. Yes i can.

God, the history textbooks 60 years from now are going to be so weird.

That is one hell of a nope. I have a terrible snake phobia, so I don’t even think I would date someone with a pet snake. FYI, I like spiders, and I’ve considered getting a pet tarantula, but I don’t out of courtesy to the many people who have arachnophobia. I want people to be comfortable in my home, not staring in…

Oh god! This reminds me of when I was a kid and at a friend’s farm. Our parents were out in the paddock doing farm things and me and my friend (we were maybe 7 or 8?) were alone in the house. We went into her room to play dolls/with her doll house and when we opened up the doll house, there was a MASSIVE MOTHERFUCKING…