I love this excuse because of how wimpy it makes all the movie performers seem. Actual broadway casts have performed this musical in furry suits, actually dancing for prolonged periods, without the magic of editing to cover their rest breaks or climate controlled multimillion dollar movie studios.

Also, when pouring this shot the bartender will definitely have to hear the entire conversation of why the man is drinking this particular beverage, including all of the birthday particulars.

Exactly. Anyone who isn’t a bit of an asshole is going to feel like one in the longer-term for failing to tip properly. Most people will feel a little guilt about that every time they remember the otherwise-fun experience. Whereas only someone with er... issues... is going to be mad that they once tipped $80 a few…

If he was there just for the scotch.... ok. An argument could be made for tipping slightly less than 20%, but you’re planning a $400 dinner out. Just give the server their $80 bucks. They will have earned it at that point in time.

Since the whole point of spending $250 on a shot of scotch is telling people that you spent $250 on a shot of scotch, go ahead and treat yourself and truthfully tell people that you spent $300 on a shot of scotch.

YES, IT WOULD BE SO GOOD. I love trying new restaurants but I often have to grin and bear it when I eat out and wind up an irritable, sometimes teary mess for the rest of the day because everything is so loud and overwhelming. *wears noise-cancelling headphones to bar trivia in a desperate attempt at having fun*

He is also 19, which will also lead you to to do some dumb, hurtful shit too

You just saved the day—the recipe did have Worcestershire sauce in it, but somehow it forgot to put it in the list of ingredients. All fixed now!

South Brooklyn Italians. When I was growing up in NYC, there were far fewer people who had the money to be snooty. The bulk of us were poor or middle class, which meant we were just assholes. 

Is it just me or does “100% Whopper, 0% Beef” not scream “this means its vegan”?   

Melissa Villasenoir getting to make out with Jon Hamm must have been nice

Except my understanding is she said “I want to buy them back” and was told “only if you sign another contract with us”.

The only time I see/hear the word badass nowadays, it’s towards a woman doing something traditionally masculine or not womanlike. When someone brought it to my attention years ago, I can’t unsee it. 10 times out of 10, 100% of the time.

This is a SECRET

Every time I make food for myself, I eat it in front of a computer while looking at pictures of better food. I have a long list of favourite Instagrams. I have been doing this for years.

Not totally secret, but just my wife and anyone who stays with us knows:

I have a severe aversion to even numbers.

When recipes like this one were developed, most of the diet in the US was in need of something that was nutrient dense. Molasses and sorghum were added to food for this reason. By the time it’s molasses, there’s very little sugar left, but what is left is a lot of vitamins and minerals that people were missing in their…

Imagine being so insistent on irrelevant and arbitrary rules that you start a fight and end up missing the laughs and good times that could have been. If only he had neglected to issue that short-sighted "Stick to costumes" ultimatum.

Now I want to eat a swan. Thanks.