BabyChoo would not eat sandwiches. She did not like deli meat, or PB&J. I sent her to preschool with ribbons of smoked salmon wrapped around a small chunk of brie. She's a teenager now, and eats Pop Tarts. Uggghhhh.

Who the fuck serves corn flakes on their yacht? Has the aristocracy lost all sense of class and decorum?

I’ve had weight loss surgery. I have one of those cards.

Fingertips are cool. You can cut them completely off almost down to the first joint, and they will regenerate perfectly, no scar tissue although the nail might be wonky. The key is to keep the wound open, which many ER docs still don’t know so they close the cut when people slice off their finger and then the…

People on gastric bypass and other tummy things can’t even eat a full kid’s menu item.

Other things to consider, if power goes out and your place is lucky enough to have power, you will end up with a full house. Run a frosty special on slow moving items and finally if you open and the place is dead, close but give those employees who did show up their days pay, they are keepers for sure.

That’s why I say he is, in this instance, quite classy. He took someone who was clearly crossing a line (who the fuck interrupts a giant concert to go talk to the singer?), and gave her kid a shot. He didn’t have to, maybe shouldn’t have, but it was a nice show of basic decency, and it turned out really well.

And here I thought she was going to be cool like Michael Buble that one time:

I started watching the Netflix doc about him last night and I can’t stop thinking about if my daughter (or anyone) was beaten, raped, murdered, and disappeared, how I would feel if she went long forgotten and her murderer went on to become a pop culture icon who all anyone can say about him is how perplexing it was…

I’ve taught middle school first 11 years and let me tell you they are little weirdos. They like weird things and say weird things and do weird things. They other day a group of girls was dying of laughter in class because one said she was going to own a store called Taco Shop but they wouldn’t sell tacos. And…

This was a whole lotta talking and not enough wearing. It would have been hilarious to see you all actually try all the accessories, which is what the title insinuated

I believe “needle dick” might be a gendered term. 

Nicholas Hoult was in The Favourite! Which is sooo damn good by the way.

Actually, that is one that I always do because I had a new neighbor wander in to my locked home one morning because he thought the house was empty and he had a key...

I studied computer science in college. Should I write an algorithm about this?

My husband’s insidious version of this is to come staggering out of the bedroom on a Sunday late morning and beaming at me as I am up to my elbows in dishes and mooning “Thank you sooooo much for letting me sleep in!” To which I hiss, “I did not let you do shit, motherfucker.”

I studied poetry in college. Should I write a damn haiku about this ?

Denny’s is always open, just sayin’.

You guys: I ATTACKED my kitchen yesterday (hibernation due to snow helped). Three junk drawers now organized into measuring things, knives and thermometers, and electronics (for husband). Tossed at least a half-dozen jams and jellies past their dates, taking some plastic plates and cups to Goodwill. Hardest part was…

Rock N Roll is so old, dead and gone, that Greta Van Fleet might as well be Civil War reenactment enthusiasts.