I’m lazy, but not this lazy.

https://clashtalk.kinja.com/evolution-of-a-writer-a-c-a-pinkham-best-of-1696906922

Have I been writing my column long enough to start phoning it in?

These are all monumentally stupid questions to ask, but Word Nerd is, to me, the most infuriating. I hate people like this, and unfortunately there are a shit-tonne of them out there, like people who become incensed if you say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome” in response to a thankyou. Language is a living,…

Clearly these are all fake, because none of them claim to tip a minimum of 25%+ every time, no matter what.

Mollie Tibbetts was murdered because she told a man, “No.” Period.

i’m more concerned with the fact that some men feel so entitled to female bodies that they’ll kill for it. that shit doesn’t have a nationality.

Les Miserables would have been a lot shorter if Jean Valjean would have just explained that he didn’t know the bread was a sentimental item.

This idea that women shouldn’t have sex if they don’t want to get pregnant, and that we have an obligation to carry a pregnancy to term, is so ridiculous and morally repugnant in a free society.

Let’s say his argument is true, and that a fetus has human rights. Let’s go with that for a second.

Man, what a dipshit. My abortion was 100% a factor in my success. If I had carried to term, I would have been a single mother, living at poverty level. I’m now a university professor (and a mom).

I’m 100% certain that there was a not-zero number of female professors, administrators, and the like at his school who had had abortions in their younger days, who, more likely than not, would not be in those positions if not for the abortions. It’s just the law of large numbers.

The thing is...I am absolutely more successful today than I would have been if I hadn’t had an abortion at 16. It was the smartest choice I could have made, not to mention I didn’t want to have a baby. 

Some women may appreciate that stuff, but I feel like they’re mostly empty gestures to make men feel better about themselves. They really don’t mean anything to me and there’s nothing worse than a guy who gets annoyed when you don’t thank them for doing something you didn’t ask them to do in the first place. If you…

I really don’t know. Maybe because it’s cool to hate Lena Dunham and to pretend you’re sticking up for animals? It’s very strange, certainly there are other clickbait topics that are not as outright mean.

Wow, I don’t know if it’s the recent turnover in writers, but more and more I find myself really surprised at the tone of Jezebel’s articles. This is extremely unnecessary, and I hope you’re never confronted by something like this when you ultimately lose a loved one.

I have an uncle who works for Pillsbury. He told me that the company is trying to appeal to young people and capitalize on the whole Cards Against Humanity craze, so they’re changing the name from Funfetti™ to Clown Jizz™.

SPlitting dinners made life so much easier when I was in university. I wasn’t sure we’d be able to do it, but we quickly realized that we actually liked a lot of the same things, we just had dramatically different ideas of what should go on it so we’d do things like make pasta and then put different sauces on it.…

Getting my food one millisecond earlier than someone else actually has nothing to do with how much respect I’m receiving, fun fact. Please teach your sons to respect women in ways that actually matter.

I assume it’s something having to do with my consumption of almond milk?

You are the problem that is killing california, you do know that.