It’s missing the texture you’re describing, but Yuengling (yes, THAT Yuengling) makes a “Black and Tan” ice cream that’s half belgian chocolate, half salted caramel ice cream that I think would get you pretty close flavor-wise.

A Tootsie Roll and Starburst (preferably NOT lemon) is pretty good if you’re a garbage candy raccoon-person like myself.

THANK YOU YES

Chewy SweetTart bites also work wonders

Tilda did not come to the premier as Lutz, and I’m not ashamed to say that bums me out a little.

I mean, he was doing fine before with Cazzie David?

Came down here to say this. Also the pistachio ones? Bliss

“Normal people kinda know where that line is”
Megyn Kelly:

They also do a GREAT pan away from the WOC behind her during the Diana Ross bit

YOU find a stripper without some residual glitter

Nope! It’s also “based on case studies” and plays on the very real disproportionate number of disappearances in Nome

Katlando Ploom is a Harry Potter name if I’ve ever heard one

My sister’s recap of The Fourth Kind had me up for a full week because I was home in my parent’s creaky farmhouse for the week with a bed near a window and a new family of barn owls in our backyard.

I always buy myself a new bra after a split. I get something decadent and practical, it will probably last longer than said relationship, and he’ll never get to see it. 

I currently have a shag that COULD be the Rachel, given the right kind of styling. Thankfully my hair is incredibly abundant and a little wavy, so it generally settles into something more decade-appropriate but I do have to intentionally style the front bits back to avoid the chin-hugging face frame

You need more stars for this

Brian “Head” Welsh from Korn had a pretty public switch to Christian rock (of course, he did speaking engagements and the whole shebang as well), and I think Brian from the Backstreet Boys dipped back into his solo Christian stuff for a while? But yeah, neither is anywhere near raking in the money or even attention…

“I’m sorry, I’m not going to refill your glaucoma meds because I believe that life should be LIVED, not just seen”

I agree with you on not name-dropping, but to be fair, plenty of Irish/Polish/Italian/Greek/etc Americans DO still carry cultural attitudes, foods and traditions with them that still matter to them. It’s not that weird. Also, four generations isn’t much? My family came over in the early 1800s, and that’s about 8…