My mom discovered a great emergency crumble when we were at our cabin (a shack, 30 minutes off road and 1 hour from a general store). Dump some packets of instant oatmeal on it. We used peaches and berries as the fruits, which were likely wet enough to soak up the sugars, but also gave the oats a nice crunch. Plus the…

THANK YOU, that was my gripe about it. Of course I’d like her to be more of an ally, and it’s true that perhaps she would have done better to just let it go. But it’s been a part of her family’s story - something she doesn’t control. She had heard it all growing up, and it looks like she personally looked into her…

Well, usually this is at work anyway, but a good point. I’m mostly projecting- this weekend I was at a cafe for some quiet time and a guy who seemed genuinely harmless asked if I walked there, and what street I was on. On other occasions, I’ve had people ask me what building I’m in, as well. It’s a historic area, and…

I once spent a summer cleaning college dorms, and lemme tell you - the snot walls were REAL. 

You ain’t special, Drake

Alternately: I’m Jimmy the Pie Man! (I assume this is a Perkin’s) I sleep in the display case! 

I had a similar problem at the theater I worked at with the following line of questioning:
“Do you have children?” -No
“Married?” -No
“Well, surely you’re dating someone?” - Also no
“You HAVE dated someone, at least?” - Sir, this is only going to get more depressing for both of us

Neighborhood groups on facebook are MADE for this sort of thing, if you have one!

I managed a tiny bar in a theater lobby, and asked my bartenders to push Bailey’s as the Christmas season was wrapping up. One bright star managed to push her miracle creation of Bailey’s and Sprite (“it’s like a cream soda!”) on wayyy too many people.

I’m going to bet there were no female extras

But imagine the Airbnb cash you could rake in. Probably enough to completely renovate the insulation and HVAC by the end of year 2

I need Whoopi to expand her Christmas sweater empire to shoes, and frankly, I’m shocked KP beat her to it

Once or twice? December has 31 days, my friend. 

Well, the real tragedy is that the photo they snapped lives on my old phone.

We had this dingy alley behind the theater that we shared with a bar but generally was barely wide enough for trash cans. The floor/street was unfinished, so it was just packed dirt and maybe some historic asphalt with random trash and puddles…

The previous HM at mine swore that one night he was cleaning the balcony and putting the seats up (they’re older, so some get stuck in the down position), and just before he left he turned around and all of them were down. I let ushers clean the balcony before everyone was out after that.

I was house manager for a while at a rumored-to-be haunted theater. My bartenders had a pretty bad run-in with the ghost of a little girl (we only found out after the fact that one had indeed died where they saw her), and our crew and construction team frequently saw a man in tails, but the worst I ever had was…

I both look forward to and fear the day someone tops “Look at me”

Your not hearing of him is a fault on your part, not his. Mulaney is EVERYWHERE (literally, between writing and stand-up accolades he also has an award-winning broadway show and a cartoon that he both writes and stars in), and also just won an Emmy for his stand-up. 

Nah, it’s more of a scatter plot.

Also, yeasted cake sounds like an exception. 

If everyone this year could just not do “sexy schoolgirl/girl scout/etc” for halloween this year, that would be fab.