I’ve got to say yo prefiero mucho the Spanish feed. Any more Collinsworth and I’m gonna put a drill in my ear.

Really? You don’t say.

Gronk wants to know if he can still have some steak and some pussy before he goes night-night.

Gee, I’m shocked that a person who works in an industry that, for years, has been striving to muddy the waters when it comes to what constitutes proper sexual expression wouldn’t know the difference between rape and consent.

Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo! Cuckoo!

When the “messenger” is a madman carrying a long rifle, and his “message” is a fucking bullet in the head of eeny-meeny-miney-mo, then YES I AM ATTACKING THE GODDAMN MESSENGER, YOU SHRILL BITCH!!

Jeez, you’d think he’d be a little more careful with maintaining his squeaky-clean public image, especially after his mom’s career was wrecked by all that racist stuff she said when she thought nobody was listening.

All done, Smith.

Surely there must be a practice squad guy who’d gladly forsake his chance at an NFL career for the notoriety of ending Greg Hardy’s?

In a perfect world.

In a related story, Michael Irvin left an incomprehensible string of jibberish on the GoFundMe page he uses these days to urge fans to support his Jones

Jerry has no choice but to stand behind Hardy. In fact, it’s written in the NFL bylaws.

Jerry can say and do whatever he wants, but when it comes down to it he’s the one who has to look at himself in the mirror every March and September.

Ben Carson (to assistant): “Man... I need another shitty hole in my head.”

Well one thing’s for sure, the guy pays attention to detail. I’ve never seen such a well-rounded beating in my life.

A good first half is all a young, talented quarterback should need to get himself another shot.

Joe also regrets using this line on a starstruck JaMarcus Russell back at the 2007 NFL rookie symposium.

The strain of weed he prefers to smoke is called “Trainwreck,” which is also an apt description for this show.

This is an OT-VIII we’re talking about here. An Level 8 Operating Thetan should, according to Scientology’s teachings, be able to control all aspects of MEST - Mind, Energy, Space, and Time.

It was a caged bird. You can see the assistant spring the trap door just as the clip starts. This is literally no different from shooting fish in a barrel.