I suggest you have a nice, relaxing glass of Harglefloxin and then light up a little Obamawort incense and then make yourself an artisinal bronze bowl of wombadulamatazingo.

Hey everybody: notable troll from Gawker, Darrell Merrell, nee Tomatoface (and various other variations) has decided to bring his tedious brand of stupidity over to Jezebel. Please do not engage him or respond to his idiocy.

How horribly rude of me, thinking that I had a fucking right to engage in the political processes of this country. Must have missed that day of civics where they went over how we're obligated to go with the safest choice, lest we be kicked out.

well it was nice knowing you, at least we know you’ll be happy. Drink lots of water.

well it was nice knowing you, at least we know you’ll be happy. Drink lots of water.

I love football, but have a harder and harder time just vegging out and watching it like a big dumb baby than I used to the more and more this information comes out. You watch a guy like Antonio Brown go ragdoll from a helmet hit, and it’s hard to ignore the CTE elephant in the room.

Possibly an unpopular opinion, but can we please stop with the Beyonce is Queen nonsense when Erykah Badu still graces this world with her beautiful presence?

“I’m gonna call Tyrone, and tell him come on, over, and get your shit.” More than fifteen years later and.Goddamn that song, and album, tear shit up. I love this woman.

I’m more of a Harvester International than John Deer girl, but this farmer rocks.

No one ever asks me out

why i gotta be all wet AFTER morning sex this morning and then gotta go to work all sloshy. c’mon, girl.

also bitch you’ve obviously never tried to have sex while super high on that tip top chronic no lube no sex no fun in that situation

Right. Being a POC does not exclude you from participating in and enforcing white supremacy.

When I managed a Borders we were also responsible for this small calendar kiosk on the other side of the shopping center. I was there covering someone’s lunch break and this crazed woman came over demanding why we had no bichon frise calendars. The dog calendar people were always the weirdest.

They never took a doggie bag home and they never touched Golem Jesus’s meal.

I got dumped after 4 years of living with my girlfriend, that was 9 months ago. I’m still not over it, I’m depressed as fuck, I stay in, I lost my best friend. I don’t feel like I have much of a purpose. I feel like this app is more for new, shorter relationships that aren’t as binding/life changing as long term…

It seems no matter what vehicle she attempts to use she’s doomed to be pedestrian.

Executive Director Brad

Growing up, my Dad always smelled the cork. But he’s also the kind of new money asshole who thinks he understands stuff like wine tasting based on whatever he knows through osmosis, so it doesn’t surprise me at all that he was wrong about that.

I’ve been on this wine tour. It’s literally 2 hours of crazy drunk white ladies tripping on pills.