You went from “But he marched with MLK” to “ugh, black folks, why even bother” in two sentences. Impressive.

What I’m looking for is Miller High Life. Which, in some places, costs only $7 for a six-pack.

Forget the ridiculous third reason for a moment. Why do there seem to be so many otherwise intelligent people who don’t seem to understand that the vast majority of the time it’s not appropriate to act on your sexual impulses? Literally everyday of the week I work with and walk by women that I am attracted to,…

Yeah, that was my thought. I might be wrong about this but isn’t a Mecca pilgrimage specific to Muslims? I understand she’s using it as a symbol for a better place here, in the way some folk songs use Jerusalem, but it’s still a little cultural appropriation-y.

I hated people who asked for frappucinos when I worked at an actual Starbucks.

When you vote GOP, this is what you’re voting for.

They’re like Pokemon. Your CARIBOU evolved into MOOSE! It learned STAND IN THE ROAD AND FUCK UP TRAFFIC!

t was really looking like I was gonna get through the whole comment section without encountering one of these.

Nothing says “stepping out of your comfort zone” more than repeatedly asking why you can’t order lo mein.

(Editor’s Note: Like I’m ever going to pass up a story that makes fun of Tim Hortons...)

“Now THAT’S White Zinfandel!” which he promptly poured into his monogrammed thermos.

Congratulations!

That doesn’t work, guys are on to this now. We wanna take you there or see a baby toe.

My ex thought it was a good idea to move to another state and hide from child support. Since he had such a consistent history of cheating I thought it would be easy to track him down on Craigslist’s Missed Connections. Someone had to know him because he had penis and it did wander. A lot. He also loved to make sure…

After breaking up with my boyfriend at the age of 20, I hitchhiked to Berkley and backup up to Seattle. It was a two week trip, with literally no money, and nothing more than the clothes on my back.

Ugh, fuck you Blaire!

*cheers* Fuck you, Blaire.

Fuck you, Blaire.

So I guess he’d been planning to give me my walking papers. But after finding out I was pregnant he did the honorable thing; went Dutch on the abortion and stayed in the picture until I managed to go three consecutive days without crying.

Craziest thing I’ve done after a breakup? Gained 40 lbs, had sex once and a mental breakdown twice.