“...actually knew how to tell a story.”

Instagram science is the strongest of all the fake sciences.

I believe you. I’m best friends with Frank Stallone. 

*stands up on desk

It’s more like a full month long holiday. Thanksgiving has slowly turned into “Early Christmas Dinner Day”. My favorite part is the non-stop holiday music playing everywhere at all times, but only shitty bluegrass acoustic versions. 

Fun fact about Brothers Bloom. Penelope’s house in the movie is actually a castle in Transylvania. 

And then you poop your opinion of The Last Jedi into my butt hole and I poop my opinion of The Last Jedi into your butt hole...back and forth...forever.

You forgot to mention nostalgia-fueled circle jerks.

It’s not his handwriting. Belongs to same person who pins the note on his coat so he doesn’t forget it at home. 

*mushroom-shaped explosion

*Amazon executive raises head from giant pile of cocaine.

It is revealed that the porg is actually Jar Jar Binks in deep dream state. He wakes up and reveals that all Star Wars movies past Revenge of the Sith never happened, setting the stage for Disney to announce the Star Wars Episode 4 Reboot.

Chaos ensues with an entire political party against the reboot called “The…

The nerds have been appeased. You may continue with your offerings. 

Clearly based on my username, wrong meme. 

Maybe because you were the only one watching a 25 year old cartoon.

We know exactly what you mean. *winks loudly

Now this is how you quit a website run by corporate shitbags

Clicked on this because I thought the header image was promoting Dan In Real Life: The TV Series. 

Spider Man-3 is a cinematic masterpiece!

Christian comedy: Say a racist/homophobic/sexist statement, then say you’re just kidding, and scream “GIT’ER DONE” to thundering applause.